The joys of male orgasm denial
are many reasons why some men greatly enjoy male orgasm denial, and
having a very aroused man under her power can be lots of fun for a woman.
This page presents the joys of BDSM-style male orgasm denial / ejaculation denial for both males and females. (To jump to the female joys click here.)
Of course not all men are the same, and the following joys will not be appreciated by
everyone. Just as with food and music, what we enjoy is very dependent
on our personal tastes.
But just as with food and music, if we are open minded and explore, we
may find that our tastes expand to include new pleasures. So those who
have not yet tried male orgasm denial may, one day, also come to appreciate some of
Most men orgasm and ejaculate at the same time, and so for them orgasm denial is the same thing as ejaculation denial.
the man learns to orgasm without ejaculating. Thus for him the joys
presented on this page come from the ejaculation denial (as orgasms without ejaculating are not denied).
following joys are all about enhancing a couple's sex life. Not only is
there better sex, but there is more of it.
Hence the following does not
apply to orgasm denial when practiced as part of male chastity.
Male joys from male orgasm denial
A man who practices BDSM-style male orgasm denial may experience some or all of the following:
Male orgasm denial builds up a man's erotic energy. When his erotic energy is very
high, every touch and all sexual activity feels much more intense. Just
having his partner play with his erection goes from something that is a
nice preliminary to an intense and powerful pleasure. Receiving oral sex
goes from feeling great to unbelievable.
Heightened enjoyment when receiving sexual pleasures
the man knows that he will not be allowed to ejaculate, foreplay is no
longer just a step towards ejaculation. Without the end-point of
ejaculation the man's pleasure is solely derived from what happens
during a session, and as there is no end-point to strive towards, there
is no rush to move forward. Pleasure is significantly enhanced when
each activity is enjoyed for itself.
This aspect of BDSM-style male orgasm denial is shared with Tantric sex, as both are about enjoying the pleasures of each moment rather than being distracted by and rushing forward to climax.
BDSM-style male orgasm denial differs from Tantra in that Tantric sex is relaxed
intensity whilst BDSM-style orgasm denial usually results in a
much higher and less controlled erotic energy.
who appreciate orgasm denial find that the extra intensity and
delight they experience when receiving sexual pleasure more than makes
up for the lack of an ejaculation at the end of the session.
the time he is allowed to ejaculate the man’s erotic
energy is very high. This means that the intensity and pleasure of his
orgasm is usually much greater than normal. In fact an ordinary (no
stored up erotic energy) ejaculation can feel a bit flat and boring in
Greater pleasure when he does ejaculate
Ejaculation denial will result in fewer ejaculations, but the power and
intensity of the orgasms at the end of a period of denial are one of
the rewards of waiting.
The ejaculation also feels more special because it is a rarer event.
higher-than-usual erotic energy levels created by male orgasm denial
result in the man being very keen to become aroused and to engage in
activity. Not only is his desire to receive sexual pleasures greater,
but he also enjoys giving his partner sexual pleasure much more
Greater enjoyment in giving sexual pleasures
When a man thinks of sex as an activity leading to his ejaculation,
what happens before his ejaculation will sometimes be thought of as
just relatively unimportant foreplay. Giving his partner pleasure can
even be seen as just a necessary chore which must be done before he can
move forward to the main activity (which will lead to his ejaculation).
But when a man knows that he will not be allowed to ejaculate at the
end of a session, his main drive is no longer to end the sexual
activity with an ejaculation but to keep enjoying sexual activity for
as long as he can. And one of the best ways he can make a session
longer is to spend as much time as he can giving his partner pleasure.
Rather than giving pleasure being a chore, it becomes a pleasurable way
of getting to enjoy longer sexual activity.
The level of a man's erotic energy can also make a big difference to
how he feels about doing an activity. For example, a man's feelings
about giving his partner oral sex may range from would prefer not to,
when he has low erotic energy, to really loves to, when his energy is
So practicing male orgasm denial can lead to the women receiving much
more oral sex, and this is not just because she has the power to tell
her partner what to do, but because with his high erotic energy he
always really enjoys giving her pleasure this way.
Some men who enjoy orgasm denial enjoy pleasuring
their partner more than receiving pleasure themselves. For these men
the increased desire to give pleasure is one of the main reasons they
enjoy orgasm denial.
A component of Tantric sex
is learning to enjoy giving pleasure as much as receiving it. So once
again a BDSM technique has something in common with Tantric sex.
sex usually ends once the male ejaculates. And, as many men focus on
their ejaculation as the most pleasurable aspect of sex, the sexual
activity often moves forward fairly quickly so that they can quickly
Sessions of sexual activity often last much longer
under orgasm denial are usually not allowed to
ejaculate at the end of a session. As it is no longer his ejaculation
which indicates the end of sexual activity, the sex usually continues
female says she has had enough. Of course the female will sometimes
only want a short session. But as she is with a very aroused man who is
very appreciative of and responsive to any pleasures she gives, and who
is eager to pleasure her for as long as he can, it is common for sexual
activity to last longer than `normal´ sex.
again there is a similarity with Tantric sex as both think of good sex
as something to be enjoyed over time rather than just as a means to
who enjoy male orgasm denial love sexual activity so much that they
consider longer lasting activity worth the price of not ending most
activity with an orgasm.
a man is not allowed to ejaculate at the end of a sexual
session, his background erotic energy remains high. This means that he
can become aroused again very easily and quickly, and he is always
keen to engage in more sexual activity.
More sessions of sexual activity
When practicing male
orgasm denial the man's partner knows
that sexual activity will usually not lead to him ejaculating. So she
knows that if she gets him aroused he will not be expecting to orgasm
at the end. Getting him aroused no longer implies that because she
aroused him she must `provide satisfaction´.
This means that she can feel comfortable getting her partner aroused
for just a short session of activity whenever she thinks this would be
is not uncommon for couples who enjoy male orgasm denial to engage in
short sessions of sexual activity in between their longer sessions.
When sexual activity ends without the male ejaculating he is still aroused during any post-sex cuddle.
Powerful intimacy at the end of a session
the man has become used to not ejaculating, his arousal during these
cuddles powers very strong feelings of intimacy towards his partner.
These cuddles can be so fulfilling that they become one of the main
benefits of male orgasm denial.
Men who enjoy orgasm denial love the way their high erotic energy powers close and intimate cuddles.
Powerful denial at the end of a session
Rather than ending
sexual activity with the intimacy of a post-sex cuddle, some couples
will prefer to use the male orgasm denial to enjoy powerful feelings of
power and denial. In this case rather than a cuddle the couple
Ending with the still aroused man being denied not only an ejaculation
but any further physical contact with his partner will create very
powerful emotions. For some men the feeling of being rejected by a
powerful women will in itself be arousing. And some women will enjoy
using their power over their partner in this way.
Whether the man not
ejaculating at the end of sexual activity is used to power a very
intimate post-sex cuddle, or it is used to create feelings of power and
denial, the post-sex activity becomes a powerful and fun part of the
With orgasm denial the ending of sexual activity is very different from
the just roll over and go to sleep which often follows normal sex!
men treat erotic energy as being similar to feelings of physical
hunger. Most of the time you do not feel hungry. After a while your
hunger builds up and this is thought of as a bad feeling. So the man
strives to `relieve´ this hunger by eating a snack or a full meal.
The high from feeling horny all of the time
of the time a man's background erotic energy is fairly low, but
after a while it builds up. And when the man reaches high erotic energy
he strives to relieve himself of this energy by ejaculating. It is as
if feeling erotic energy is a bad thing.
While the idea of spending most of
my time feeling hungry has no appeal, having a higher than normal
background level of erotic energy is actually lots of fun.
slightly horny all the time makes a man think about sex much more often and much
more intensely. He thinks about his partner more often, and she is much
more desirable to him.
In this aspect BDSM-style orgasm denial is similar to Taoist multi-orgasmic practice. In both cases, the man having a higher than usual background erotic energy is a good thing.
difference between the two is that within Tao the man's erotic energy
is much lower and under control, whereas with BDSM-style orgasm
denial his background erotic energy is much higher and can sometimes be slightly out of
submission is being turned on by feeling that your partner has control
over you. It is not unusual for men who are dominant in the rest of
their lives to enjoy erotic submission, hence enjoying erotic
submission is unrelated to being a submissive person in general.
Feelings of erotic submission
effect of male orgasm denial on a man's feelings of erotic submission
depends on whether or not he needs high erotic energy to be able to
A few men are able to
feel submissive towards their partners all of the time, even just after they have ejaculated.
men don't need high erotic energy to feel submissive. But they still
enjoy male orgasm denial because the act of being denied permission to
ejaculate, as well as their higher erotic energy from not ejaculating,
makes them feel even more submissive.
men are only able to
feel sexually submissive when they have fairly high erotic energy. As orgasm
denial builds and maintains high erotic energy, practicing orgasm
denial enables these men to enjoy erotic submission.
For example, the real-life story of Tracey and Michael, where a foot massage led to a foot kiss, took place only because Michael’s erotic energy was very high, and he was thus able to act and feel submissive.
that because ejaculating releases all a man's erotic energy, men who
need high energy to feel submission loose all their feelings of
submission as soon as they ejaculate.
In some cases it might
take a few days before their erotic energy builds up enough for them to
once again be able to feel submissive.
it is the man's partner who decides whether or not he will be allowed
to ejaculate at the end of sexual activity there will always be a
moment during each session when he finds out whether or not he will
be allowed to ejaculate that session.
The feelings at the time of being denied
Often this will be at the end of the
session when his partner makes it clear that the session is over. No
further activity means that there will be no ejaculation.
when the man has lasted a long time and he feels that he really wants
to ejaculate, finding out that he will not be allowed to do so is a very powerful moment.
some men this moment may be a `cost´ of being able to enjoy the
other benefits of orgasm denial. But for others this moment will
be a highlight of their orgasm denial because it is at this moment
that he feels most under the power of his partner.
a man is feeling submissive towards his partner many activities which
he would not otherwise want to do become desirable and enjoyable. These
activities can be as simple as sitting naked at the feet of his partner
and giving her a foot massage.
Enjoying activities and games which require submission
When the dynamic is working well,
such activities can be some of the most sexy, intense, and powerful
things that a couple do together.
Not only are these activities
sometimes as intense and powerful as the high just before reaching
orgasm, but because they often do not involve full sexual activity,
they can last for a very long time.
Men who enjoy male orgasm
denial enjoy the activities which their submission enables. They love
not only the intensity and power of their feelings, but the fact that
these activities can go on for hours.
more strongly a person believes that the main joy, and perhaps even
purpose, of sex for the male lies in reaching orgasm, the less likely
they will be to understand why practicing male orgasm denial is a good
thing. They might think that orgasm denial is only for those who
do not like sex.
This section shows that men who enjoy male orgasm denial love sex. Missing out on ejaculation at the end of
most sessions means that the other aspects of sex become much more
intense and pleasurable.
Male orgasm denial is enjoyed by men
who appreciate the whole journey of sexual activity. A wonderful
journey does not need to have a climax at the end, especially when the
journey becomes significantly more enjoyable because its ending only occasionally includes an ejaculation.
Woman who practice male orgasm denial with their partner find some, or perhaps all, of the following enjoyable:
Female joys from male orgasm denial
Having a very horny and submissive man under her power can be
a turn-on in itself.
The thrill of being in charge
It can also feel great to have her partner express
such strong desire for her and feeling in control of such strong energy.
As well as the fun of making things happen, and ending things when she
wishes, her power over her partner is strongly felt when controlling
her partner's ejaculations.
Ending sexual activity is especially powerful when this is done without
allowing him to ejaculate. And when she decides that her partner will
ejaculate, it can be great fun controlling how this will be done and
telling him when.
erotic power over a very horny and eager man enables the woman to
receive sexual and sensual pleasures both in the way that she wants and
for as long as she wants.
The enjoyment is also enhanced because
her partner's high erotic energy means that he enjoys giving such
pleasures, and does not give them just so that she will `return the
Women can also enjoy receiving pleasure without
another activity having to follow on. This makes the pleasure feel more
relaxing and special.
power over a man with very high erotic energy means that even a simple
little tease can have a strong effect on him. And bigger teases can
have a huge effect.
man experiencing orgasm denial is always quick to become aroused,
and as the woman has power over what happens in a sexual encounter, it
is easy for her to keep teasing for as long as she wants, and to end
the tease without things going any further.
man’s high erotic energy from male orgasm denial means that every
little touch or pleasure he receives becomes much more intense and
enjoyable for him.
It is much more fun for a woman to give her partner pleasure when he is incredibly aroused.
Deciding when sexual activity will happen
A man who has not
been allowed to ejaculate for a few days will be very keen for some
sexual activity when he goes to bed at night with his partner. But even
a very sexual woman is not going to want sexual activity every night.
So a part of ejaculation denial is that the women gets to decide when
sexual activity will happen, and most powerfully, when it will not.
Of course it is great for a woman to have a partner who is always keen for sexual activity whenever she wants sex.
But it also very empowering for a women to know that sexual activity
will only happen when she wants it. When practicing ejaculation denial
a woman who feels her partner's erection against her body in bed at
night will not feel that this is a demand for sex, but just the proof
that her partner desires her. And sometimes her response to this desire
will just be a "goodnight
dear, sleep well."
Male orgasm denial means that her partner is always at least a bit horny and thus
always has a sparkle of desire for her.
Background feeling of always being desired
It can be fun for a woman to feel desired
all of the time.
The many activities which can only be done with a submissive man are also powerful and fun for the woman.
Enjoying activities and games which require submission
When a man has high
stored erotic energy, and you are spending quiet time together with him
aroused and wanting, he is likely to be very willing to be open about
his thoughts and feelings.
Such quiet times of erotic resting
are great for sharing intimacy and communication. This can be as little
as the man telling his partner how special he feels being hers to him
opening up and letting her know all his fantasies.
You can discuss the joys of BDSM-style ejaculation denial here at the Devotional Sex Forum.
you can think of any other male or female joys please let me know. And
any other comments which will help me make this a better page are also appreciated.
Devotional Sex includes all of these joys
most well known way for a couple to experience the joys presented above
is by entering the BDSM world where a dominant Mistress controls her
submissive. This works fine for some, but it is not uncommon for
couples to experience some problems. The problems with male orgasm denial within BDSM are presented here.
Devotional Sex enables a slightly milder version of the above joys to
become part of your lifestyle. As it avoids the problems it is a much
more female friendly technique.
If you want to skip the list of problems you can jump straight to finding out more about Devotional Sex and why it may suit you and your partner best.