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Last updated: 4 January 2012
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BDSM as an entry to Devotional Sex

Chapter 14: BDSM and Devotional Sex 

Male Orgasm Denial / Ejaculation Denial

Before looking at why Devotional Sex may be the answer for couples interested in male orgasm denial, this page first defines male orgasm denial and looks at the potential joys and problems of this technique.

What is male orgasm denial / ejaculation denial?

The definition I'm using is:
Male orgasm denial is when a man agrees to not ejaculate until his partner says he can,
and his partner denies him permission to ejaculate most times there is sexual activity.
Most men only orgasm when they ejaculate. Thus for most men ejaculation denial is the same thing as male orgasm denial.

Where things become more complicated is that a man can be made to ejaculate without having an orgasm, and he can learn to have an orgasm without ejaculating.

More will be said about these possibilities later. But for now I
will assume that the man always ejaculates and orgasms at the same time.

Mild orgasm denial  is when permission to ejaculate is denied during one session, but the man is allowed to ejaculate at a subsequent session. This may be later that day or the next day.
Strong orgasm denial  is when the man must go many days, or even weeks, without being allowed to ejaculate.

When a man is not allowed to ejaculate for many days his sexual energy becomes very high. This creates very strong sexual feelings and an incredible sexual intensity.
His high erotic energy, plus the knowledge that his partner has control over him in this way, usually creates strong feelings of sexual submission. So male orgasm denial is usually practiced along with some form of female erotic power whereby he also agrees to submit to his partner's commands.


Related techniques and descriptions

There are many techniques and practices that sound similar to orgasm denial but are in fact different, while others are simply orgasm denial by another name.
This section looks at the terms which are related to male orgasm denial, including erotic sexual denial, orgasm control, ruined orgasm, milking, the use of male chastity belts, and more. (More)

The joys of male orgasm denial

There are many reasons why some men greatly enjoy orgasm denial, and having a very aroused man under her power can be lots of fun for a woman. (More)

Problems with male orgasm denial

Unfortunately, practicing male orgasm denial can lead to some significant problems. Problems are particularly likely if the woman does not want to be a full-time BDSM Mistress.

For the male the intensity of ejaculation denial can become so strong that it disrupts the rest of his life.

His high intensity can also become disturbing to his partner, and she may feel that their `game´ of male orgasm denial is taking over the relationship.

At worst the pressures from practicing male orgasm denial can lead to emotional outbursts. (More)

An illustrative story

In this story John is not a great lover, and sex with his partner Jane has become a routine of fairly quick intercourse without much foreplay beforehand.

John decides to try some self-imposed orgasm denial over a weekend, and on the Friday night and all of Saturday both he and Jane really enjoy the result. It is not all fun though, because on Sunday some of the problems associated with orgasm denial start to intrude.

Not ejaculating in real-life

BDSM-style orgasm denial is not the only technique where men don't ejaculate at the end of most sexual activity.

Techniques which limit the man's ejaculations include:
  1. A Mistress / submissive relationship where the Mistress does not often allow her submissive to ejaculate
    This is real orgasm denial as the male's ejaculations really are controlled by his Mistress. (More)
  2. A couple playing a sex game where the man does not ejaculate
    This will sometimes be real orgasm denial. But often, even though the female might enjoy the beginning of the game, by the end it is only the male who wants to keep playing. In this case it is not real orgasm denial as it is the male controlling what happens. (More)
  3. A man kept in a chastity device
    Wearing a chastity device not only prevents ejaculations but may also prevent erections. (More)

  4. A man who practices the Taoist multi-orgasmic man technique
    This is not orgasm denial because it is the man who decides when he will or will not ejaculate, and there is never a time when the female denies him. (See Chapter 3 for more information about this technique.)
  5. A couple practicing Devotional Sex
    When living in a Devotional Relationship the female has full control over when her partner ejaculates. This includes times of very real ejaculation denial.

The first three situations are relatively well known. Even though the multi-orgasmic man technique has been known for thousands of years, most people have never heard of it. The fifth technique, Devotional Sex, is brand new.

Devotional Sex enable
some of the joys of ejaculation denial by combining the multi-orgasmic man technique with some mild female erotic power (and a touch of Tantra). Read on to find out how Devotional Sex changed my life.

Devotional Sex has the joys without the problems

During a ten year relationship my partner and I would sometimes play a Mistress / submissive game which included my being denied permission to orgasm. During these games we both enjoyed the joys listed above.

But as my partner was not naturally dominant she would eventual tire of the game, and this would happen when my erotic energy was at boiling point. Sometimes our game would end with an emotional outburst (either from her or me).

Then we started to practice Devotional Sex ...

Not only did this enable us to take pleasure in the joys of orgasm denial, it eliminated all of the problems. In fact Devotional Sex worked so well that instead of just playing an occasional game we both decided to practice Devotional Sex all of the time.

For the last few years of this relationship I only ever ejaculated when my Princess allowed, and most sexual sessions ended without her allowing me to cum.

My high erotic energy from the ejaculation denial meant that I was always desiring of my Princess, and for me all our sexual activity was much more intense and pleasurable.

The key to Devotional Sex working for us both as a couple was that it also improved my partner's sexual and intimate life without her having to be dominant. As soon as she became relaxed and comfortable in her role as Princess our new dynamic started to feel natural to us both.

Devotional Sex was the perfect solution for us.

Continue to the next page to find out more about Devotional Sex and to see if, perhaps, it will suit you best as well.

You can discuss or ask questions about BDSM-style ejaculation denial here at the Devotional Sex Forum.

Continue to  Devotional Sex - it may suit you best

Chapter 14: BDSM and Devotional Sex

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