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Last updated: 31 July 2011
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Chapter 14: BDSM and Devotional Sex

BDSM is the world of `kinky´ sex. It consists of dominance and submission, giving and receiving pain, humiliation, bondage, and much more.

As Wikipedia says, "BDSM is a complex acronym derived from the terms bondage and discipline (BD), dominance and submission (DS), and sadism and masochism (SM)."
Many `ordinary´ couples play with mild versions of BDSM activities. Often these couples do not know about BDSM and just think of their play as just being a bit more creative and adventurous than usual. Such mild play can easily be included within Devotional Sex.

If you are interested in adding some
mild kink to your Devotional Sex life, then Chapter 13: Enhancements is the best place to start.
The definition of Devotional Sex does not include any of the enhancements of Chapter 13 or any of the more full-on BDSM activities described later in this chapter. Thus Devotional Sex is not BDSM.

Most people who practice BDSM don't practice Devotional Sex, and many who practice Devotional Sex have no interest in BDSM.

The practice of "real" BDSM is less common than you might think given the many BDSM sites on the web.

A large study in Australia found that among sexually active 16 to 59 year olds, only 2.2% of men and 1.3% of women had engaged in BDSM activities during the previous year.  (Reference and discussion.

If you have no interest in BDSM you are not alone. Please feel free to skip this chapter and jump straight to the next chapter, Real-Life Experiences and Stories about Devotional Sex.
This chapter is for those interested in both BDSM and Devotional Sex.

It shows how some BDSM activities can be practiced on top of Devotional Sex, and how those already enjoying BDSM can also explore Devotional Sex.

This chapter is also for men who fantasize about BDSM (eg submission, ejaculation denial, CFNM) but have partner's who are not interested.

Devotional Sex may be a happy compromise which provides him with at least some kinky fun whilst, most importantly, also being fun and enjoyable for his partner.

BDSM as an entry to Devotional Sex

Because many people have heard about BDSM, but few have (yet) heard about Devotional Sex, some people who have an interest in BDSM may find that Devotional Sex is just what they are looking for.

Devotional Sex may be suited to:
Note that BDSM is only one entry point to Devotional Sex. The other main entry points are an interest in the Taoist multi-orgasmic man technique (see Chapter 3) or a taste of Tantric Sex (see Chapter 4).

An overview of BDSM and FemDom

So that Devotional Sex can be contrasted and compared with BDSM, this section looks at:

Devotional Sex compared to FemDom

Devotional Sex was created by combining portions of three techniques - the multi-orgasmic man from Tao, Tantra, and FemDom.

Not only is Devotional Sex different from FemDom because it includes some Tao and Tantra, but it is also differs because the dynamic of being a Princess is very different from that of a BDSM Mistress.

With FemDom the woman is dominant; there is a focus on BDSM activities (rather than sex); `topping from the bottom´ is frowned upon; the energy of the dynamic often comes from deep feelings of submission, and there is rarely any taste of Tantra.

Devotional Sex can be practiced by a non-dominant woman; though some BDSM practices can be enjoyed on top of Devotional Sex, BDSM activities are not part of Devotional Sex; Devotional Sex is more a partnership where the Knight is free to suggest activities; the Knight's energy in Devotional Sex comes from practicing the multi-orgasmic man technique, and activities will often have a taste of Tantra. (More)

BDSM activities and Devotional Sex

This section first defines each of the BDSM activities listed below, then considers whether or not the activity is a good match to Devotional Sex.

Of course all that matters is whether or not things work for you and your partner. So even when I suggest that an activity is a poor match to Devotional Sex, I'm sure that there will be some people who find a way to enjoy both.

The BDSM activities looked at in this chapter are:

Meeting a new partner via BDSM

Because Devotional Sex is not (yet) well known, it is likely to be very hard to find a partner who already shares your interest in it. One way of finding a partner who might enjoy Devotional Sex with you is to search for someone who is interested in BDSM.

Advice for a Princess looking for a Knight is here, and advice for a Knight looking for a Princess is here.


Comments, Questions and Discussion

The Devotional Sex Forum is the place to comment on, ask questions about, and to discuss the contents of this chapter. Guests can read the forum, but you must register to become a member of the forum before you can post.

Each chapter has its own discussion group, and the discussion group for this chapter is here.

If the topic you wish to discuss is there, please post in that topic. Otherwise click 'New Topic' to start a new discussion.

The discussion group for this chapter is the only place on the forum where discussion of strong BDSM activities is allowed. So please keep all your BDSM related discussion to this part of the forum.
Those interested in BDSM may enjoy FetLife - which is like a Facebook for kinky people.

If you join FetLife you can also join the Devotional Sex Fetlife group at
Continue to  Chapter 15:  Real-Life Experiences and Stories
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