Chapter 14: BDSM and Devotional Sex
BDSM is the world of
`kinky´ sex. It consists of dominance and submission, giving and
receiving pain, humiliation, bondage, and much more.
says, "BDSM is a complex acronym derived from the terms bondage and
discipline (BD), dominance and submission (DS), and sadism and
masochism (SM)." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM)
`ordinary´ couples play with mild versions of BDSM activities.
Often these couples do not know about BDSM and just
think of their play as just being a bit more creative and adventurous
Such mild play can easily be included within Devotional Sex.
If you are interested in adding some mild kink to your Devotional Sex life, then Chapter 13: Enhancements is the best place to start.
The definition of Devotional Sex does not include any of the enhancements of Chapter 13 or any of the more full-on BDSM activities described later in this chapter. Thus Devotional Sex is not BDSM.
Most people who practice BDSM don't practice Devotional Sex, and many who practice Devotional Sex have no interest in BDSM.
The practice of "real" BDSM is less common than you might think given the many BDSM sites on the web.
large study in Australia found that among sexually active 16 to 59 year
olds, only 2.2% of men and 1.3% of women had engaged in BDSM activities during the previous year. (Reference and discussion.)
If you have no interest in BDSM you are not alone. Please feel free to skip this chapter and jump straight to the next chapter, Real-Life Experiences and Stories about Devotional Sex.
This chapter is for those interested in both BDSM and Devotional Sex.
It shows how some BDSM activities can be practiced on top of Devotional
Sex, and how those already enjoying BDSM can also explore Devotional
This chapter is also for men who fantasize about BDSM (eg submission, ejaculation denial, CFNM)
but have partner's who are not interested.
Devotional Sex may be a
happy compromise which provides him with at least some kinky fun whilst,
most importantly, also being fun and enjoyable for his partner.
many people have heard about BDSM, but few have (yet) heard about
Devotional Sex, some people who have an interest in BDSM
may find that Devotional Sex is just what they are looking for.
BDSM as an entry to Devotional Sex
Devotional Sex may be suited to:
that BDSM is only one entry point to Devotional Sex. The other main
entry points are an interest in the Taoist multi-orgasmic man technique
(see Chapter 3) or a taste of Tantric Sex (see Chapter 4).
- a couple interested in a gentler, less kinky, and more loving and romantic style of FemDom (More)
- a happy BDSM-style FemDom couple (More)
- a woman who would like to be a BDSM Mistress but has a non-submissive partner (More)
- a woman who is interested in mild female erotic power but does not want to become a BDSM Mistress (More)
- a man who enjoys ejaculation denial / orgasm denial (More)
- a man who enjoys mild erotic submission but does not want to become a BDSM submissive (More)
- a man who enjoys strong erotic submission but has a non-dominant partner (More)
- a man who wants to do a BDSM activity but has an unwilling partner (More)
- people who enjoy CFNM (Clothed Female Naked Male) (More)
So that Devotional Sex can be contrasted and compared with BDSM, this section looks at:
An overview of BDSM and FemDom
- The philosophy of BDSM - Safe, Sane, Consensual, and Fun (More)
- The different types of FemDom - Internet Fantasy; Do Me; BDSM Focussed; Service Orientated; and Extreme (More)
- How many women practice FemDom? (More)
- Why BDSM is usually so extreme (More)
- Why I think milder BDSM should be encouraged (More)
Devotional Sex was created by combining portions of three techniques - the multi-orgasmic man from Tao, Tantra, and FemDom.
Devotional Sex compared to FemDom
Not only is Devotional Sex different from FemDom because it includes
some Tao and Tantra, but it is also differs because the dynamic of
being a Princess is very different from that of a BDSM Mistress.
With FemDom the woman is dominant; there is a focus on BDSM activities
(rather than sex); `topping from the bottom´ is frowned upon; the
energy of the dynamic often comes from deep feelings of submission, and
there is rarely any taste of Tantra.
Devotional Sex can be practiced by a non-dominant woman; though some
BDSM practices can be enjoyed on top of Devotional Sex, BDSM activities
are not part of Devotional Sex; Devotional Sex is more a partnership
where the Knight is free to suggest activities; the
Knight's energy in Devotional Sex comes from practicing the
multi-orgasmic man technique, and activities will often have a taste of
section first defines each of the BDSM activities listed below, then
considers whether or not the activity is a good match to Devotional Sex.
BDSM activities and Devotional Sex
Of course all that matters is whether
or not things work for you and your partner. So even when I suggest
that an activity is a poor match to Devotional Sex, I'm sure that there
will be some people who find a way to enjoy both.
The BDSM activities looked at in this chapter are:
Devotional Sex is not (yet) well known, it is likely to be very hard to find a
partner who already shares your interest in it. One way of finding a
partner who might enjoy Devotional Sex with you is to
search for someone who is interested in BDSM.
Meeting a new partner via BDSM
Advice for a Princess looking for a Knight is here, and advice for a Knight looking for a Princess is here.
The Devotional Sex Forum
is the place to comment on, ask questions about, and to discuss the
contents of this chapter. Guests can read the forum, but you must
register to become a member of the forum before you can post.
Comments, Questions and Discussion
Each chapter has its own discussion group, and the discussion group for this chapter is here.
If the topic you wish to discuss is there, please post in that topic. Otherwise click 'New Topic' to start a new discussion.
discussion group for this chapter is the only place on the forum where
discussion of strong BDSM activities is allowed. So please keep all
your BDSM related discussion to this part of the forum.
Those interested in BDSM may enjoy FetLife - which is like a Facebook for kinky people.
If you join FetLife you can also join the Devotional Sex Fetlife group at http://fetlife.com/groups/8254.