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Last updated: 20 January 2010
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Key Concept Overview
 

 
Ejaculation Denial
 
Ejaculation denial is when a male agrees not to ejaculate until his partner says he can,
and his partner denies him permission to ejaculate most times there is sexual activity.
 

 
Ejaculation denial within BDSM

Ejaculation denial is part of the BDSM world. BDSM and Devotional Sex is the subject of Chapter 14.

Most people think that male orgasm and ejaculation are two parts of the one process. When this is the case, ejaculation denial is the same thing as male orgasm denial. As the latter term is more commonly used, most of Chapter 14 uses the term male orgasm denial instead of ejaculation denial.

Chapter 14 includes a section on
BDSM-style ejaculation denial, and there are further pages on related terms, the joys of male orgasm denial, and problems with male orgasm denial.
 

 
Ejaculation denial on this site is a sex positive technique - erections are always good, and the main benefit of ejaculation denial is that it improves a couple's sex life.

This is very different to male chastity - were erections are bad (or even prevented by wearing a chastity device). You can read more about male chastity here.
 

 
Ejaculation denial within Devotional Sex

Ejaculation denial is a key component of Devotional Sex, and a man who practices Devotional Sex is not allowed to ejaculate most times he has sexual activity.

If he is in a Devotional Relationship his Princess decides when he will ejaculate. She uses this power over her Knight to manage his erotic energy. If she wants a quieter time she has him ejaculate a few days earlier than usual, and if she wants to play with a very eager man she keeps him going for a few days longer than usual. 

When using Devotional Sex in dating, or with a friend, a Knight never ejaculates when with his date or friend.
 

 
Devotional Sex is very different from standard BDSM-style ejaculation denial.

The first difference is that with Devotional Sex the Knight learns to be able to orgasm without ejaculating.

Having a non-ejaculatory orgasm enables a Knight to enjoy orgasms during sessions where he is not allowed to ejaculate. And as these non-ejaculatory orgasms slightly calm his erotic energy, they make it easier for him to go many days without ejaculating.

Another difference compared to the BDSM world is that because the Knight's erotic energy is now calmer, he no longer needs a strong dominant women to control him. With Devotional Sex his ejaculations are easily and happily controlled by a confident (but non-dominant) woman.

For many men, BDSM-style ejaculation denial remains just a fantasy because he is not with, or cannot find, a dominant women (Mistress) who wants to control his ejaculations.

But a woman who does not want to be a Mistress might very much enjoy life as a Devotional Sex Princess. By replacing the hard-core domination of the BDSM Mistress with the more loving and mild dynamic of Devotional Sex, ejaculation denial can become a normal part of your sex life.
 

 
Stories

This site has many real-life and fictional stories about ejaculation denial ....
 

 
Ejaculation denial can become a normal part of your sex life

For a story where Susan and Sam enjoy a sexy morning and night together, and Sam's ejaculation denial is just a normal part of this day, click here.

 

 
Ejaculation denial can be a normal part of dating

It is lots of fun, and very erotic, to use Devotional Sex from the very first date.

One of the things that a male who wants to do this will tell his date is that "whatever we do tonight, I will not ejaculate".

I have found that many (non-dominant) women love this (self-imposed) ejaculation denial for first intimacy because it removes the pressure that one thing must lead to another. And when the first intimacy using Devotional Sex works really well, it can easily become normal for the man to not ejaculate during the following dates.

A real-life story where Michael told his date, Ada, about Devotional Sex, and it all worked very well, is here.

This date was so successful, and Ada liked Devotional Sex so much, that they continued to see each other and continued to practice Devotional Sex. It was only on their 11th date that Michael ejaculated with Ada for the first time.

They then moved to a Devotional Relationship (where the man can only ejaculate when his partner says), and on most dates Ada would not allow Michael to ejaculate. How all this worked in practice is told in the blog of Ada and Michael.
 

 
Ejaculation denial leads to some intense cuddles without sex

When practicing ejaculation denial a couple will not engage in sexual activity every morning and night. But if it has been many days since the Knight's last ejaculation, even just a cuddle may be enough for him to become aroused and erect. 

For a story of a morning cuddle when Sam is very horny, click here.

And for a story of a cuddle in the evening when Sam is very horny, and Susan just holds his erection to calm him, click here.
 

 
The adventure of trying ejaculation denial for the first time

For a story where John decides to try ejaculation denial while spending a sexy weekend with his partner Jane, click here. Note that this story shows many of the pleasures of ejaculation denial on the Friday and the Saturday, but on Sunday Jane gets tired of John's high energy, and this illustrates some of the problems of ejaculation denial.

For a story where Danika tricks David into trying a weekend's ejaculation denial, click here.

  

 
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