More about Devotional Sex
 

pre 1994	During a ten year relationship my partner and I started playing with mild Mistress / slave games. As our experience grew, we started writing down the rules under which this play took place.
22 April 1994	I wrote a document called our `Understanding´. The rules applied only while I wore a special ring. (Sometimes I wore the ring for only a few hours, but sometimes it was up to a few days.) The dynamic was more mild Mistress / slave than Devotional Sex. Whilst playing this game my partner's title was `Mistress´. It included the rule that she could not get `revenge´ for anything outside the game by using her Mistress power inside the game. We used ejaculation denial (I could only ejaculate when commanded) to build and maintain my high sexual energy.   The game worked wonderfully for a day or two, but longer sessions did not always end well. When my ejaculation denial continued for many days my erotic energy would become very high and I would become very intense. If my partner wanted to keep using my intensity to enjoy sexual activities then things remained fun for both of us. The joys of ejaculation denial are presented here. But if, after a few days, she decided to have a rest from sexual activity, I would feel ignored. At these times she could still feel my intensity and that I was unhappy, and this made her feel under lots of pressure. Sometimes this resulted in the game ending in an unpleasant emotional outburst. The problems with ejaculation denial are presented here.
30 July 1995	I wrote the second version of the Understanding.
June 1997	I wrote the third version of the Understanding. As more was added each time, each version was slightly longer than the previous version. This included the first use of the Ritual command.
November 1997	I wrote the fourth version of the Understanding. The Understanding is now four pages long. Her in-game title was now Princess. My partner could make any changes she wanted to the Understanding, and I could only choose to accept or reject the whole package. She could have me put on the ring whenever she wished. Usually the ring would stay on until after I had ejaculated (and I was not allowed to ejaculate until my partner allowed). This version of the Understanding made it clear that when playing she was free to ignore her power when she wished. Mentions using her power to enjoy sensual pleasures (eg massages), and that these may be non-sexual for her (which does not mean that I would not get aroused when giving her the sensual pleasure). Introduced a whole page of new commands. The main difficulty with these games was still my high erotic energy leading to pestering and too much pressure on my partner.
1999	Bought and read The Multi-Orgasmic Man book. This teaches the ancient Taoist technique whereby a man can orgasm without ejaculating. Using this book I taught myself to to orgasm without ejaculating (which I have called a Crest). I found that Cresting maintained my erotic energy but left me feeling satisfied. I also used the other techniques in the book to manage my sexual energy. As I was still not ejaculating I still had high enough erotic energy to want to obey my Princess. But my calmer energy meant that my partner could now control activities without being dominant. Before, after many days of not ejaculating, my erotic energy would be so high that I would pester my partner for sexual activity. The big break-through was a night when I had not ejaculated for many days. Just before this we had enjoyed a few sexy days together as my energy built up. That night, when I got into bed with my partner, it was clear that she wanted a rest. With my calmer erotic energy I assured her that if she wanted nothing need happen. For the first time my partner felt fully relaxed and comfortable having just a cuddle with her aroused man. This was enabled not by her taking control (ie being a dominant Mistress), but by my calmer energy enabling me to obey her wish. We were now enjoying what I would later name Devotional Sex. Now that my partner could rest from sexual activity whenever she wished we both enjoyed my wearing the ring for longer and longer.
4 January 2000	Having prepared a new 30 page version of the Understanding, we both signed this document committing us to apply this for a whole year. We were now living Devotional Sex (even though it did not have this name). Our Devotee life included the Double Cuddle ritual.
4 January 2001	The Understanding was revised. Our Devotee life in 2000 worked so well that when it came time to consider extending our commitment for another year the response from both of us was "of course!"
11 September 2001	My ten year relationship ended (which was devastating for me). As a single man without a sex life I of course missed having good sex. But a much deeper loss was missing the closeness and intimacy of our Double Cuddle ritual.
November 2002	I started writing the first draft of a book. This draft included: The first use of the word Knight for the male role.  Recognition that this was a new sexual technique.
January 2003	Met `Emma´ and used Devotional Sex to enjoy our first intimacy. This was so successful that I decided to use Devotional Sex in all my future dating. We lived together for a month, and I had my second experience of using Devotional Sex in a live-in relationship. You can read Emma's comments about Devotional Sex here.
18 October 2003	On a long beach walk I first thought of the name Devotional Sex and instantly knew it was right.
February 2006	My early drafts of this book had used the words `pussy´ and `cock´. Several of the women who had read these early drafts had commented that they did not like these words. (Of course some people had no problems with them.) I was trying to think of alternative words for penis. One word in the short list was `desire´.
1 January 2007	Selected my website host, signed up, and purchased the domain name DevotionalSex.com
2 January 2007	Created the Devotional Sex logo and front page. My first web pages were put onto the net. The New Pages and Major Updates pages record the growth of this site (with the most recent changes shown first).
13 January 2007	Decided to use to use the word Desire.
14 January 2007	First thought of, and decided to use, the words Pleasure, Crest, and Climax.
20 January 2007	Decided that a better word for intercourse was needed, and chose Joy.
8 February 2007	Decided I needed a section on, and came up with the name, Devotional Friend.
11 March 2007	First thought of the word Surf as both a command and a description.
13 March 2007	Decided to use Reveal for this command name (rather than strip).
16 March 2007	Though I had not told the search engines about this site, four pages are listed in Google! I decided to tell all search engines about the site.
5 April 2008	Reformatted the site so that each page has less information (but there are many more pages), and introduced the `nature´ color bars to provide visual breaks.
September 2008	Created a Devotional Sex group on Facebook.
31 December 2008	Site statistics for 2008 In 2008 I spent 627 hours (which is 26.1 non-stop days) at the keyboard working on this site. I also spent lots of time away from the keyboard thinking about what to write. During 2008 the site was visited 1,699 times. My readers came from 74 countries. The most came from the United States (43.8%), followed by Australia (21.7%), India (7.7%), United Kingdom (5.7%), Canada (4.0%) and Germany (1.5%). The site was even looked at in Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, China, and Laos. 64% of visitors came to the site after searching Google, and the main keywords were "ejaculation denial" (140), "Devotional Sex" (88), "nude cuddling / cuddle" (65), "nude ritual" (55), and "devotionalsex" (33). In 2008 the site was viewed for about 5 days and 5 hours. So in 2008 I spent much longer writing this site than readers spent reading it :-( 45.2% of visitors looked at only one page. The 930 people who looked at more than one page on average viewed 9.12 pages in the 7.2 minutes they spend at my site (not including the time spent reading the last page viewed). The two Devotional Sex groups were fairly inactive. The Facebook group had only 8 members, and the Google email group only 9. At the end of 2008 there were no other sites linking to this site.
14 January 2009	Started the first Devotional Sex blog, recording all the Devotional Sex activities of Ada and Michael.
4 March 2009	Posted an introduction to Devotional Sex onto the DOMestic newsletter and Blog. This post, and other follow-up posts, led to a significant increase in visits to this site.
27 June 2009	I created a group on FetLife to discuss Devotional Sex.
11 August 2009	Some readers like the idea of Devotional Sex except for the strong restrictions on the Knight ejaculating. Rather than saying that if the man ejaculates most times he has sex that this is not Devotional Sex, I created Lite Devotional Sex, in which the Knight is allowed to ejaculate much more often.
24 August 2009	First writing about Knight Swapping and Lending.
25 August 2009	DevotionalSex.com has had 50,000 page views and 10,000 visits. 4833 visitors looked at more than one page, and these visitors looked at an average of 9.3 pages each.
31 December 2009	Site statistics for 2009 In 2009 I spent 515 hours (which is 21.5 non-stop days) at the keyboard working on this site. I also spent lots of time away from the keyboard thinking about what to write. The majority of new pages and major updates of 2009 are listed here. During 2009 the site was visited 13,576 times. There were 64,976 pageviews (49,878 unique pageviews). My readers came from 124 countries. The most came from the United States (52.9%), followed by Canada (8.4%), United Kingdom (7.9%), Australia (6.9%), India (3.1%), and Germany (2.0%). 72.8% of visits came from search engines, almost all from Google. The main keywords (grouping similar keywords together) were "Devotional Sex" (1,338), "ejaculation denial" (517), "nude sleeping / cuddling" (811), and the big surprise, "eating cum" (5,690). (A Knight eating his own cum is one of the enhancements presented in Chapter 13.) 14.6% of visits were from links on other sites. 425 vitis came from FetLife and 187 from my Facebook page. 574 visits came from DOMestic. 66 visits came from a blog at http://dominacion-amorosa.blogspot.com (which is written in Spanish), and 53 from http://theenchantedranger.blogspot.com 12.6% of visits were direct traffic (meaning the user had typed in the URL or bookmarked my site). In 2009 the site was viewed for about 37 days and 11 hours (which is 7.2 times longer than in 2008). So for each hour I spent writing in 2009 the site was viewed for 1 hour and 45 minutes. 54.5% of visitors looked at only one page. The 6,184 people who looked at more than one page on average viewed 9.3 pages, and the average visit lasted in the 7.8 minutes (not including the time spent reading the last page viewed). Of the people who looked at more than one page, 10.5% viewed 20 or more pages. The Devotional Sex Google email group remained fairly inactive. The Facebook group reached 96 members but there was little discussion. The Devotional Sex group on FetLife, which I created in June 2009, grew to 142 members, and this group did generate some discussion. As there are still many `yet to be written´ pages on the site I have not yet devoted time and effort to publicizing this site. So I'm very pleased with this year's results.
24 January 2010	Invented the name Supplicant Knight, and wrote a page about this role.
5 April 2010	Started the Devotional Sex Forum on this site.
12 October 2010	A link to this site was added (not by me) to the Wikipedia article on Female-Led Relationship. Thus searching Wikipedia for Devotional Sex now leads to this site.
16 December 2010	The Devotional Sex group on Facebook was killed by Facebook management.
31 December 2010	Site statistics for 2010 In 2010 I spent 244 hours (which is 10.2 non-stop days) at the keyboard working on this site. This is just under half the amount of time I worked in 2009, so unfortunately 2010 was not a very productive year. The new pages and major updates of 2010 are listed here. During 2010 the site was visited 24,878 times (an 83% increase from 2009). There were 106,964 pageviews - up 65% from 2009, and 82,760 unique pageviews. My readers came from 132 countries. The most came from the United States (57.4%), followed by the United Kingdom (7.7%), Canada (7.0%), Australia (3.3%), India (2.6%), and Germany (2.2%). So this year the UK has beaten Canada into 2nd place. 74.0% of visits came from search engines, 85% of these from Google. The main keywords (grouping similar keywords together) were "Devotional Sex" (1,412), "ejaculation / orgasm denial" (813), "nude sleeping / cuddling" (398), and, as in 2009, the most popular was "eating cum" (over 3000). 14.2% of visits were from links on other sites. 1044 visits came from FetLife, 516 from DOMestic, 368 from Wikipedia, and 332 from Facebook before the group was killed. Finally, 232 visitors arrived from She Makes The Rules. 11.8% of visits were direct traffic (meaning the user had either typed in the URL or bookmarked my site). In 2010 this site was viewed for about 66 days (an increase of 76% over 2009). So for each hour I spent writing in 2010 the site was viewed for 6 hours and 40 minutes. 58.2% of visitors looked at only one page. The 10,389 people who looked at more than one page on average viewed 8.9 pages and spent 8.3 minute at this site (not including the time spent reading the last page viewed). Of the people who looked at more than one page, 8.7% viewed 20 or more pages. My Devotional Sex group on FetLife grew from 142 to 339 members. The new forum on this site had about 2,350 pageviews. I was disappointed that only 12 people joined the forum, and that, apart from my posts, there were only 9 posts. Hopefully the forum will prove more popular in the future. As there are still many `yet to be written´ pages on the site I have not yet devoted time and effort to publicizing this site. So once again I'm very pleased with this year's results.
11 January 2011	The reference to Devotional Sex in the Wikipedia article on Female Led Relationships (FLR) has been removed. But there is an empty page on Wikepidia for Devotional Sex (which I hope will be filled in one day by someone), and searching on Devotional Sex in Wikepeida still takes you to the FLR page.
2 May 2011	Just for fun I started a registration list for those who want to become a registered Princess or Knight.
16 November 2011	Started the Devotional Sex photo-blog on Tumblr.
31 December 2011	Site statistics for 2011 In 2011 not a huge amount of work was done writing the site as with little feedback I didn't feel inspired to write. The new pages and major updates of 2011 are listed here. But everything changed in November when I started the photo-blog. This has been a huge success because not only did the photo-blog attract lots of readers, but it led to a large increase in readers of this website. For example, in October 2011 this website had 14,630 pageviews, but thanks to the photo-blog, December 2011 had 31,645 pageviews - an average of over 1,000 page views per day! During 2011 the site was visited 45,794 times (an 84% increase from 2010), and there were 166,068 pageviews - up 55% from 2010, and 133,709 unique pageviews. My readers came from 147 countries. The most came from the United States (57.1%), followed by the United Kingdom (8.2%), Canada (6.8%), and Australia (3.1%) - which is the same order of countries as in 2010. But this year Germany (2.6%) has overtaken India (2.1%) for 5th place. 77.7% of visits came from search engines, 88% of these from Google. The main keywords (grouping similar keywords together) were "Devotional Sex" (2,059), "ejaculation / orgasm denial" (813), "nude sleeping / cuddling" (238), and, as in 2009 and 2010, the most popular was "eating cum" (over 7,000). 11.7% of visits were from links on other sites. Even though the photo-blog only started mid November, it was the most popular referring site (1,232 visits), DOMestic now has very few posts, but it is still being read and referred 599 to this site. FetLife was third (506) which is about half of what happened in 2010. This site was mentioned in two forums, which together sent 264 visitors, and two bloggers wrote about Devotional Sex, sending 182 visitors. 10.6% of visits were direct traffic (meaning the user had either typed in the URL or bookmarked my site). In 2011 the combined time spent reading this site from all visitors was about 115 days (a 74% increase over 2010). 62.5% of visitors looked at only one page. The 17,173 people who looked at more than one page on average viewed 8.0 pages and spent 9.6 minute at this site (not including the time spent reading the last page viewed). Of the people who looked at more than one page, 8.5% viewed 20 or more pages. 71.1% of visitors used Windows, 12.0% Macintosh, 4.7% an iPhone, 4.0% Android, and 2.1% used an iPad. Just over 11% of visitors come from mobile devices. My Devotional Sex group on FetLife grew from 339 to 499 members. Unfortunately this group did not generate much discussion in 2011. Only 18 people joined the Devotional Sex Forum on this site during 2011, but as most of these joined near the end of the year there is a chance that the forum might soon gain critical mass and become more active. The photo-blog on Tumber, though only started in November, ended the year with 175 followers. Not including followers looking at the photo-blog on their Tumblr dashboard, the photo-blog had 47,244 pageviews from 16,619 unique visits, 1,410 of which were from returning visitors. Ending the year with the photo-blog being such a success and an average of just over 1,000 pageviews each day on the website is fantastic. I end the year inspired to work hard in 2012 writing more of the website and hoping that interest in Devotional Sex will continue to grow.