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Last updated: 28 March 2010
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Chapter 2: Vanilla Sex

The term `vanilla sex´ usually means conventional sex.

This chapter examines vanilla sex in detail so that it can later be compared and contrasted with Devotional Sex.

A problem with making this comparison is that conventional sex ranges from crude, quick, animal-like sex to longer, more sophisticated and erotic love making. Should I compare Devotional Sex to the best or the worst of conventional sex?

This dilemma raises the important question: `What is the difference between good and bad conventional sex?´

A step towards answering these questions is to extend the definition of vanilla sex.


My definition of Vanilla Sex

For this site I have extended the conventional meaning of the term vanilla sex, defining it as:
`Sexual activity which does not involve any advanced sexual technique´ (More)
Vanilla Sex is the crude and unsophisticated part of conventional sex.

The following quote from a 29 year old male provides a good illustration of sex at its most basic. He says:

Foreplay of the usual kind pisses me off. I just wanna hurry through it and get to the sex. 

Hard, beast-ridden, lustful grunge sex is the best. There's nothing better than letting all my primal fury and power free and just seeing how much your body can take how hard you want it and if you will continue to ask for more.

Of course there is nothing wrong with him enjoying such sex as long as his partner also enjoys it. And some couples will be so happy with this type of basic sex that they will not want to look for anything better.

Conventional sex can be much better than Vanilla Sex

My answer to the question `What is the difference between good and bad conventional sex?´ is that good conventional sex is when a couple practice at least a mild version of one or more of the advanced sexual techniques.

Usually we think of the advanced sexual techniques (Tantra, Tao, BDSM, etc) as being `full-on´ activities which have nothing to do with conventional sex. But in reality there is a continuum between not doing any of a technique and fully mastering it.

Taking just a few steps towards a technique is far removed from full-on practice of that technique. But I believe that these few steps are enough to make a big difference to the quality of what is otherwise conventional sex.

Your reading this site shows that you have an interest in good sex.

So you are probably already enjoying a sex life which includes small parts of some more advanced techniques (even if you have never heard of these techniques). If your use of these techniques is only mild you will be enjoying good conventional sex. (More)


 What is normal?

This section first looks at what society thinks of as being popular and normal apart from sex.

This shows that sometimes even the most popular parts of our culture are only of interest to a minority. So it does not matter what society thinks of as being normal. All that matters is what is right for you.

Before you go somewhere new, it is often useful to first understand where you are. This applies to sex as much as to any other changes you make in your life.

So the next part of this section asks you to think about your current sex life, and to take stock of what is currently normal for you. (More)

How sex is depicted in the media

Sex is very badly presented in film and television. Unfortunately the distorted version of sex portrayed by the media adversely affects many people, with some thinking that what they see is what they should do to be normal.
This section looks at how sex and nudity are depicted in mainstream movies, adult movies, and on the Internet. (More)

Vanilla attitudes towards sex

It is our thinking which directs our actions. One of the main reasons Vanilla Sex is different from good sex is because the attitudes towards sex are different.

This section looks at the many strange attitudes that are, unfortunately, part of the `normal´ way in which most people think about sex.

Vanilla sexual activities

This section looks at how sexual activities are practiced within Vanilla Sex. The activities include touching, oral sex, intercourse, and having an orgasm.

It also looks at how often these activities take place. (More)


Better sex by only tasting the advanced techniques

This section is for those not interested in exploring Devotional Sex, but who would like to improve their conventional sex life by just tasting some of the advanced sexual techniques.

The techniques available for tasting are some Tao, some Tantra, some mild female erotic power, and something kinky.

Just a little taste of one or more of the above may be enough to make a significant difference to your sex life, and your exploration is sure to be fun. 

Exploring Devotional Sex

If you are interested in exploring Devotional Sex then your first step is to read more.

The outline of Devotional Sex (in Chapter 1) shows that Devotional Sex has three major components - Tao, Tantra, and mild female erotic power.

The next three chapters describe how each of these components is used in Devotional Sex.

Comments, Questions and Discussion

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Each chapter has its own discussion group, and the discussion group for this chapter is here.

If the topic you wish to discuss is there, please post in that topic. Otherwise click 'New Topic' to start a new discussion.
Continue to  Chapter 3: Devotional Tao - The multi-orgasmic man
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