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Last updated: 20 October 2008
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8: Getting Started Games
 

   
About the Games   |   To first page on: Getting Started
 
Sex as relief for a man
 
This exercise for a man demonstrates how sex and not ejaculating feel when the opposite of Tao and Tantra are applied.
 
This is a preliminary exercise to the Taste of Tao for a Single Man or the Taste of Tao for a man with a partner exercises.

The Taste of Tao exercises demonstrate that the eastern approaches of Tao and Tantra provides some benefits from the man not ejaculating after sexual activity.

This exercise provides a contrasting example as it shows how it feels when the opposite of Tao and Tantra are applied.


By doing this exercise one or two days before the Taste of Tao exercise, the two very different approaches to not ejaculating after sexual activity will be made very clear.

As with all exercises, what is important is that you follow the spirit of the exercise rather than the detail. So please use the detail I have provided to get a good understanding of the spirit, and then feel free to modify this exercise to whatever will work best for you.
 

 
 The exercise

Session One: early one evening

Early one evening sit down, fully clothed, and look at some pornography.

The sitting down fully dressed minimizes any sensuality.

The pornography could be a magazine, video or DVD, or pictures or movie clips off the Internet.

If you have broadband, I recommend  http://www.youporn.com/  This free site (though there is advertising on each page) has a varied collection of explicit video clips, ranging in length from a few minutes to over 20 minutes.

Note that I have no connection with this site, and as per usual, almost all the content is the standard `porn star´ style - explicit but almost never erotic.


The viewing of pornography is an essential component because it will keep your focus away from your body.

If you never, or rarely, look at pornography this component of the exercise is even more essential.

This is because if you don't view pornography your normal sexual feelings are probably more focused on your body than are most men. Thus for you the Taste of Tao exercise will feel closer to normal than it will for most men, and you will not see the benefits of Tao and Tantra as well.

By viewing the pornography during this exercise you will experience how it feels to have your focus away from your body, and this will help show the benefits of Tao and Tantra when you do the next exercise.

Without touching yourself, see if you can become aroused and erect just from looking at these pictures or movie clips.

Make sure you notice how long it takes to become aroused.

Once you are hard, or after a few minutes if you are not, adjust your trousers so that you can play with yourself.

Still looking at the pornography, start to play with yourself. If you were not fully erect, this should get you there.

Make a mental note of how aroused you feel. As you have only just started some sexual activity, even though you are erect, you probably still feel that your erotic energy is only at a moderate level.

After about three minutes of playing with yourself and looking at the pornography, increase your hand actions to bring yourself as close as you can to ejaculating without doing so. If you can, keep yourself at this point for about a minute.

Then, before you ejaculate, stop.

Stand up and adjust your clothing so that your erection is put back inside your trousers.

Sit back down, and without touching yourself over your trousers, and while still viewing the pornography, notice how frustrated you feel.

After perhaps a minute or two more of looking at the pornography, stop looking at this and do something else.

Over the next hour or two notice your background level of erotic energy, and note any feelings of sexual frustration.
 

 
Session Two: about two hours later

About two hours after your first session repeat exactly the same procedure.

Notice that
at the start of this session you become aroused and erect much quicker than before.

When you play with yourself you probably feel that you want to ejaculate much more strongly than during the first session.

And the frustration of stopping without ejaculating is likely to feel much worse.

Again, during the two hours after this session has finished, notice any feelings of sexual frustration.

If not ejaculating at the end of session two is too much of a challenge, you could skip this session and do session three instead.

The main reason for having three sessions instead of two is that the middle session increases your erotic energy so that when you finally do ejaculate you are wanting to do this just to relieve your erotic energy.

If you are already wanting to ejaculate at the end of session two just to relieve the energy the exercise will have made it's point, and you can either decide to end the exercise with only two sessions, or see how it feels to go even further and experience the three sessions.
 

 
Session Three: about two hours after the second session

About two hours after the second session, start the exercise a third time.

Notice that you probably become aroused and fully erect
even quicker than you did during the second session.

As before, play with yourself while looking at the pornography.
When you first touch yourself notice how much you want to ejaculate.

It is very likely that your erotic energy is now much higher than it was in the first session.

Devotional Sex will sometimes use this energy to significantly enhance the pleasures of sexual activity and to power sexual fun.

But at the moment this energy is not being controlled and directed towards better sex. It is all directed at making you want to end sexual activity by ejaculating.

After only a few minutes of playing with your very hard erection, and while still looking at the pornography, let yourself finally ejaculate.

Notice how this ejaculation feels. Is it an incredible pleasure? Or is it more relief from your sexual frustration?

After four or so hours of feeling sexually frustrated, how do you feel now?

Many books would recommend that you sit down and write about how you felt during this exercise. I will be realistic and I don't expect that most people will write anything down.

But it is important that you take a few moments to gather your thoughts and think about how you felt.

The whole point of this exercise is to be able to compare and contrast what you have just experienced with
the Taste of Tao exercises, so if you don't make any written notes, please make some mental notes.
 

 
Discussion

This exercise is designed to keep sex quick, to be as non-sensual as possible, and to keep your attention focused away from your body.

During this exercise you may have enjoyed viewing the pornography, but there would have been little enjoyment of physical pleasure. Even the physical pleasure of your orgasm would have been minimized because your attention was on the pornography.

It would have been difficult to not ejaculate after sessions one and two, and the erotic energy built up during these sessions would have mainly been felt as a frustration.


The highlight of the exercise would have been your ejaculation. But this would mainly have been appreciated because it relieved you of your erotic energy and sexual frustration.
 

 
When a man thinks of sex as mainly being about relieving himself of erotic energy this will significantly effect how he has sex with a partner.

Sex with such a man will tend to be quick. He will not be interested in foreplay, but wanting to quickly get to the main event (which is the activity which leads to his ejaculation). Intercourse and him receiving oral sex will usually have him thrusting hard and fast as this is what is done to make him cum.

This way of experiencing sex is the very opposite of Devotional Sex (and Tao and Tantra). 
 

 
After experiencing one extreme of sexual behavior the next step is to have a taste of the other end.

If you are a single man, the exercise which gives you a Taste of Tao is here.

If you share your bed with a partner, and she is willing to do an exercise with you, your Taste of Tao is here.

So that the comparison with the exercise on this page is most apparent, you should try and enjoy the Taste of Tao exercise either one or two days after doing this exercise.
 

 
Your feedback and comments

Please contact me if you have some feedback you would like me to publish on this page, or if you would like to suggest to me an improvement to this exercise.

As this exercise is a preliminary to the Taste of Tao exercises, voting for this exercise is located at the end of the Taste of Tao exercises.
 
 
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