8: Getting Started Games
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A Taste of Tao for a single man
The
full joy of Devotional Tao can only be appreciated once the
multi-orgasmic man technique has been learned and the man has become
used to not ejaculating most times he has sex.
But a single man who is sleeping alone can do this exercise which provides a taste of some of these benefits. All he needs is some time and a little self control.
But a single man who is sleeping alone can do this exercise which provides a taste of some of these benefits. All he needs is some time and a little self control.
The exercise takes about forty minutes just before you go to sleep over two consecutive evenings.
As with all exercises, what is important is that you follow the spirit of the exercise rather than the detail. So please use the detail I have provided to get a good understanding of the spirit, and then feel free to modify this exercise to whatever will work best for you.
One major pleasure of Devotional Tao is to enjoy orgasms without ejaculating. To experience this you need to learn the technique, and this requires time and practice. So this exercise in not able to demonstrate this pleasure.
What is demonstrated is that the main pleasure from sex can come from the pleasures before ejaculation, that not ejaculating after sex need not be incredibly frustrating, and that having higher-than-usual erotic energy because you did not ejaculate can feel good.
This exercise will generate higher-than-usual erotic energy.
A man who practices Devotional Sex is used to this energy as a natural and normal part of his life.
But in this exercise your increased erotic energy will not yet feel normal, and it will probably feel a bit out of control.
Learning Devotional Sex is all about doing things to increase the pleasures of sex and intimacy, and learning to keep your energy under control and to not feel too frustrated. Of course this takes time to learn, and cannot be demonstrated in one quick exercise.
To imagine what real Devotional Sex feels like requires imagining how things would feel if the bad parts of this exercise did not feel nearly as bad, and the good parts felt even better.
Practicing Devotional Sex does have some challenges for the male, but these challenges are a small price to pay for the pleasure, fun, and intimacy provided by Devotional Sex.
Hopefully this exercise will give you a taste of some of the joys of Devotional Sex.
A preliminary exercise
It is not possible to create an exercise which fully demonstrates all the good parts of Devotional Sex.
But it is possible to create an exercise which demonstrates the opposite of Devotional Tao and Devotional Tantra. Such an exercise is the preliminary exercise to this one.
By doing the preliminary exercise a day or two before the exercise on this page, the differences between the two approaches to sex will be made even more clear.
Hence I recommend that before doing this exercise you first do the Sex as Relief for a Man exercise.
Some of the discussion on this page will assume that you have done this preliminary exercise.
If you do not do the preliminary exercise first you should at least read through the exercise and imagine how it would feel to do it.
Imagining doing the preliminary exercise is not nearly as powerful as doing it, but it is much better than nothing.
The Taste of Tao exercise - Day 1
The first bedtime
Go to bed about thirty or forty minutes earlier than usual.
Take off all your clothes, turn the lights off, and lie down on your back in bed with your arms by your side.
For a few minutes just lie quietly and, if you can, meditate.
Don't yet think of what you are doing as being sexual. Instead just think of this as being a meditation exercise.
This
is an important start to the exercise because you need to do your best
to remain in this calm or slightly meditative state for the next thirty
or forty minutes.
Before moving to the next step, take note of your erotic energy.
It should be very low as you should not yet have had any sexy thoughts.
After about five minutes of relaxing / meditating, bring your awareness to the feel of your naked body.
If you don't sleep in the nude the feeling of being naked will be stronger, which is good.
Try to think of your nakedness as being sensual.
After a minute or so of feeling the nakedness of your whole body, bring your awareness to your genitals.
You probably have a very low erotic energy at this stage, so notice how your genitals feel with the low energy.
Now start to think of them as sexual. If you start to feel some arousal from this pay attention to how it feels.
The sexual part of the night has now started, so if you start to become more aroused go with this.
When it feels right to do this, bring your hands up so that one hand holds your Desire, and the other your balls.
Bring your awareness to the feelings generated from the gentle touch of your hands.
Start to play with yourself gently to bring yourself up to a moderate level of arousal.
This is all done in the dark - you should not be using any books or magazines for arousal.
A moderate level of erotic energy is when you are aroused and erect, but in a relaxed way. At this energy level you know that if you wanted to ejaculate you would have to first significantly increase your energy level. So at the moderate energy level you never feel close to ejaculation.
To get yourself fully erect you might want to think some sexy thoughts.
Thinking sexy thoughts is a part of this exercise. These thoughts will help you become more aroused, and help you stay aroused.
But you must never let these thoughts become your main focus. Use the energy of any sexy thoughts as part of the exercise, but keep bringing your attention back to the feel of touching yourself, and remember to keep yourself in a slightly meditative state.
But you must never let these thoughts become your main focus. Use the energy of any sexy thoughts as part of the exercise, but keep bringing your attention back to the feel of touching yourself, and remember to keep yourself in a slightly meditative state.
Play with yourself gently for about four minutes without increasing your energy level above moderate.
After about four minutes increase your energy level by playing with yourself a bit more firmly, and perhaps by thinking more sexy thoughts.
Your aim is to reach and then maintain an energy level much closer to being about to ejaculate, but not right at the edge.
Being right at the edge means that if you wanted to, you could make yourself ejaculate within about five seconds.
The energy level to aim for now is being about thirty seconds away from ejaculation. At this level your energy is high, but you never feel that you are almost about to cum.
Keep playing with yourself so that you stay at this high energy level for a few minutes.
Then relax, keep your hands on yourself but stop active movements, concentrate on the meditative part of this exercise, and let your energy fall back to the moderate level.
Once back at this level you can start to gently play with yourself again.
Alternate back and forth between about four minutes at the moderate energy level, and then about two minutes at the high energy level.
Spend the amount of time at each energy level that feels right for you - if you want to spend either a shorter or longer time at each level that is fine.
You should spend at least fifteen minutes alternating back and forth. Twenty minutes is better. And, if you can, try for thirty minutes.
As mentioned above, sexy thoughts will be a part of this experience. Just make sure that they do not dominate your thinking. Instead you should be paying attention to three things:
Firstly, it will take an effort to keep yourself in a relaxed, slightly meditative state. Sometimes you will need to deliberately empty your mind of sexy thoughts and concentrate on relaxing yourself.
Secondly, in your relaxed state you should direct your focus onto the touch of your hands and the sensations from playing with yourself. Mediate on feeling this pleasure. This exercise is partly a meditation on sexual pleasure - enjoy it!
Unlike
the preliminary exercise, there is now no pornography to distract you.
Also you will not be ejaculating tonight so don't waste time thinking
about a pleasure that will only come tomorrow. Instead focus on the
feelings of pleasuring yourself, and the enjoyment of feeling
aroused.
And finally, you should also always be aware of your erotic energy. As a first taste of Tantra and Tao, try to feel your erotic energy flow around your whole body.
One way to help you bring your erotic energy level back to moderate is to try to feel your erotic energy flowing from your erection and balls, down to the base of your spine, then up your backbone and neck to reach your head. Just imagining the energy doing this flow is very effective in bringing your energy under control.
When you are at the high energy level feel how this energy creates the intense pleasure from your playing with yourself. Explore different ways of touching yourself with this energy.
At the moderate energy level try to float with this energy as a more relaxed experience.
The last part of this exercise for the first night is to calm-down.
If you feel that ending the night without ejaculation is going to be a big challenge, start the calm-down from the moderate energy level.
If you feel that not ejaculating will not be too challenging, you can experience a more intense calm-down if you start this part from the high energy level.
To start the calm-down, cup one hand over your balls, and with the other just hold your erection moderately firmly. From now on you keep your hands as still as you can - no little movements, no little squeezes, nothing.
Stay like this for four or five minutes.
The two things to concentrate on are keeping yourself relaxed and in a slightly meditative state, and in feeling your erotic energy.
This is probably a very new experience for you, so it is natural that a part of this experience is frustration from not ejaculating.
You might find your erection throbbing with desire. Feel the power of all this erotic energy. Try to think of this as a strong and pleasant sensation and not as a frustration.
Try to move this energy around your body to your head (as was described above). Try to feel that this energy is good.
Devotional Sex is not just about having a better sex life. It is also about enjoying a better connection and more intimacy with your partner.
If you were with a partner now you would be cuddling her. Instead of your hand holding your erection it would be her hand. All the pleasure you had given yourself so far during this exercise would have been given by her.
But now she would know that the evening's pleasures are over, and she would be holding you but not moving her hands.
You would just be lying there, still feeling very aroused, cuddling your partner. You would feel her accepting your energy by holding your erection. You would feel your energy flow out of your erection into her hands and into her, and you would take this energy back by cuddling her.
This is one of the most special times for a couple within Devotional Sex. Imagine doing this with a partner. Imagine that your frustration from not ejaculating was much less than you feel now. Image the good parts of enjoying this cuddle.
This is not `roll over and go to sleep straight after sex´. This is going to sleep still strongly desiring your partner. Rather than thinking about wanting to ejaculate you will be thinking about the pleasures you had just enjoyed with her, and the pleasures that are yet to come.
Spend a minute or so during the calm-down at the end of this session thinking about enjoying such a cuddle with a partner.
These thoughts may make you feel even more aroused, and you may feel your erection become even harder. If you do it shows that you are very likely to enjoy the reality of experiencing this with a partner.
The
first time you read the above you are probably sitting at your
computer. You are probably interested in what I have written, but
unaroused. Hopefully the above will still make sense.
There are many sexual activities which seem unappealing or less attractive when you are not aroused. The best time to think about what you might enjoying doing when aroused is when you are aroused.
Actually doing this exercise and thinking about the above as you lie in bed at the end of the first night while holding your erection will generate different and more powerful feelings. This is when you should really decide whether or not the ideas of Devotional Sex are attractive to you.
There are many sexual activities which seem unappealing or less attractive when you are not aroused. The best time to think about what you might enjoying doing when aroused is when you are aroused.
Actually doing this exercise and thinking about the above as you lie in bed at the end of the first night while holding your erection will generate different and more powerful feelings. This is when you should really decide whether or not the ideas of Devotional Sex are attractive to you.
Having mentally explored what it might feel like to end the night with a partner, it is now time to fully calm-down.
From now on just concentrate on relaxing and feeling calm. Meditate on the energy.
You should soon start to feel tired.
Once fairly calm it is OK to think sexy thoughts and to enjoy these as long as this is part of your moving towards sleep. Try to not think about wanting to ejaculate, but to use your erotic energy to enjoy thinking about sexual pleasures.
When it feels right to do so, let go of your erection, and maybe roll into a going to sleep position.
It is very likely that you will still be hard when you fall asleep.
