The Calm-Down Cuddle
A Calm-Down Cuddle is a way of ending sexual activity when the Knight is very aroused.
With this cuddle the Princess firmly holds, but does not play with, her Knight's erection. Her still hand makes clear that sexual activity is over. This cuddle allows the Knight's energy to fall at the end of sex without him feeling rejected by his Princess.
A Calm-Down cuddle is both a sometimes necessary part of Devotional Sex, and one of its unique pleasures.
Especially at the beginning of a Calm-Down Cuddle, the Princess should hold her Knight's hard Desire fairly firmly (holding too lightly makes the touch feel more like a tease than an acceptance of his energy). With his high erotic energy the Knight will often hold his Princess fairly tightly in his arms. One good position to enjoy such a close cuddle is for both people to be lying on their sides and facing their partner.
When you first read about a Calm-Down Cuddle it might sound strange to hear it described as not being a sexual act. A Calm-Down Cuddle is a very intimate act, and it is certainly powered by the Knight's erotic energy. But a sexual act stimulates arousal, while a Calm-Down Cuddle is sharing the slow decline of arousal. When a couple enjoy a Calm-Down Cuddle the Knight's Desire will slowly become soft. Even a fairly firm holding of his Desire does not provide enough stimulation for him to stay hard (as long as her hand stays still and he is not allowed to thrust into her hand).
There are two times that a Calm-Down Cuddle is enjoyed:
- immediately after a Princess has
decided (perhaps after negotiation)
to stop sexual activity and her Knight is still very aroused, and
- when a couple are cuddling in bed and the Princess has decided that there will be no sexual activity but her Knight becomes very aroused just from the normal cuddle.
A Calm-Down Cuddle is sometimes needed by a Knight because when he is very aroused a feeling that his energy is being ignored can leave him feeling that he is being ignored and rejected. The Calm-Down Cuddle proves that his energy is accepted and enjoyed by his Princess, and he can enjoy a strong connection with his partner as his energy calms down.
A Calm-Down Cuddle can continue till his Desire is soft, but it will usually end earlier. This is not a problem for the Knight because if he needed a Calm-Down Cuddle because he had very high energy, after a few minutes of the cuddle his energy will not be as high. So even though he might still be hard, he will not feel rejected if she lets go off his Desire once his energy is lower. Especially if the Knight is still hard, he might still want to cuddle.
One cuddle position which works well immediately after a Calm-Down Cuddle is if the Princess rolls over onto her other side and the Knight cuddles her from behind. If he wants, and she allows it, he can easily hold one of her breasts as they cuddle. If he is still hard then his Desire will be comforted by the feeling of contact with her bottom. It is very easy to start to drift off to sleep in this position.
During a Calm-Down Cuddle any little playing with her hand, or allowing him to make small thrusts into her hand, will provide stimulation which will keep him hard. When the Princess is using the Calm-Down Cuddle to calm him down she will not want him to be stimulated. So she will keep her hand still and if he is making small thrusts she will use the "be Still" command to stop any thrusting.
The Princess is in full control of his stimulation. If she wants to enjoy his energy (and to pleasure him) she can play with him gently (or allow him to thrust a little) at the beginning of the cuddle. Over a few minutes her playing becomes less and less until she is just holding him, and the real Calm-Down Cuddle starts.
A variation on the Calm-Down Cuddle is when the couple cuddle and the Princess cups her Knight's soft Desire and balls in her hand. A Princess might want to do this when she feels very in control of their sex life, and so holding his soft Desire and balls is saying "these, and through them you, are mine!". Having his soft Desire held feels very different to the Knight - when he is hard his energy flows out, but when he is soft the energy comes in from her hand.
If a Princess wants a rest from sexual activities for a few minutes when they are in bed, and her Knight is very aroused, then they can do something similar to a Calm-Down Cuddle but with a very big difference. As she is wanting to resume sexual activity she does not want her Knight to fully calm down, so this time she slowly plays with his Desire as they cuddle.
When a Devotee couple enjoy just a cuddle in bed (as the Princess has decided that no sexual activity will take place) it is most likely that she will not become aroused. Her Knight knows that it is not realistic to enjoy sexual activities all the time, so if he becomes aroused he accepts her use of Princess Power to just cuddle without sex. A Princess is comfortable and relaxed cuddling her aroused Knight, and even though she is not aroused, she may sometimes enjoy (as her Knight will) turning just a cuddle into a Devotional Cuddle. In this case she might enjoy playing with him a little every once in a while to keep him aroused.
To read a story about Susan and Sam enjoying just a Calm-Down Cuddle at bed time, click here.
For a new Princess it might feel uncomfortable to feel that she sometimes `has to´ give her Knight a Calm-Down Cuddle, especially because it will at first feel like a sexual act. But for Devotional Sex to work they must both be happy, and leaving her Knight feeling rejected is not a good way to keep him keen to be a Knight. So if a Knight says he `needs´ a Calm-Down Cuddle (which should not be too often) the Princess should be kind.
As she learns to use the Calm-Down Cuddle to control his energy, the Calm-Down Cuddle will start to feel like an after sex activity, and it will become very enjoyable for her to feel his energy as she helps him to calm down.
An experienced Princess may find that a Calm-Down Cuddle is one of the times she feels most like a Princess. She will feel very desired and loved, and holding his hard Desire for just a cuddle is symbolic that he is under her power, and that he has given her control of his erotic energy. During a Calm-Down Cuddle any little movement of the Princess's hand is very intense and pleasurable for the Knight, so she might enjoy giving him the occasional little play just to say `this is special´.
For a new Knight a Calm-Down Cuddle prevents him from feeling rejected as he calms down after sexual activity has stopped. He will still feel slightly frustrated that sex has ended, but the Calm-Down Cuddle makes this easier to bare. As a Knight becomes more experienced it becomes much easier for him to stop sexual activity when he is still aroused, and a Calm-Down Cuddle becomes mainly a very enjoyable and intimate way to calm down.
An experienced Knight appreciates and enjoys a Calm-Down Cuddle as a very special and intimate time with his partner. After enjoying some sexual activity it feels wonderful to cuddle his partner and still feel strong desire for her. Her holding of his hard Desire accepts his erotic energy to power the cuddle. At the beginning of a Calm-Down Cuddle an experienced Knight will sometimes make a few little thrusts into his Princess's hand - not thrusts of sexual frustration, but of strong love and desire for his partner. A Calm-Down Cuddle is a time when a Knight can feel great love for his partner, and feel very loved in return.
A male first looking at Devotional Sex will often be put off by the idea of ending most sexual activity while he is still aroused. The experienced Knight enjoys a Calm-Down Cuddle so much that it becomes one of the reasons why he enjoys Devotional Sex and is wanting to remain a Knight.
When my Devotee relationships have ended, the intimate thing that I have missed most deeply has been the Calm-Down Cuddles. My erotic energy just being focused into connection with my partner had made our Calm-Down Cuddles even more meaningful, and thus missed more, than our good sex life.
Whenever her Knight is in bed with his Princess and there is no sexual activity and he is aroused, the Knight will enjoy a Calm-Down Cuddle. So, when a Princess also finds it special, it is highly recommended that she makes Devotional Cuddles a very common part of their Devotee lifestyle.
The Calm-Down Cuddle is unique to Devotional Sex, and it is one of its most special pleasures.