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Last updated: 7 July 2008
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9: Living as Devotees


Commands are an easy way for a Princess to make something happen. Instead of having to explain what she wants, with a command she need only say one word.

Most of the time the use of a command will not feel like an order, but just the Princess having her turn to change the activity taking place. The occasional use of a command helps a Princess to feel special, and keeps the Devotee dynamic running smoothly.

Using an occasional command has two main benefits. Firstly, it makes it easy for a Princess to take control of sexual activity without having to say lots of words which might interrupt the flow of the activities. Secondly, using a brief command, and having her Knight obey, can make a Princess feel that she really is a Princess.

The more commands a couple are used to using the easier it becomes for a Princess to take control (even if she only does this occasionally). Being able to say just one word to enjoy an activity makes her control flow easier as she moves from activity to activity.

Which commands are used, and how often, is for each Princess to decide. A command is only a useful part of a Devotee couple's dynamic if a Princess uses it often enough for her Knight to remember what it means!

Reading a page about commands might create the impression that commands are heavily used and dominate a Devotee couple's dynamic. The reality is very different. A Devotees couple's sexual dynamic is still mainly shaped by normal negotiation. If the sexual activities are mainly led by a Knight's suggestions, then the occasional Princess command feels to both Devotees more like some balance than her taking control.

Most often the use of a command will not feel to the Knight like an order. If the Knight likes the result then it will feel as if his Princess has made a suggestion and the Knight's obeying is saying "that's a great idea". As the Knight is eager to please his Princess, even a command which results in her being pleasured is acted upon with enthusiasm.

Sometimes when a command is used there can be some negotiation. Of course, after listening to her Knight, the Princess might just say "no", and repeat the command.

Every once in a while a command will be very much about Princess Power. A Knight might not want to obey, but from the context he will know that this is not an appropriate time for negotiation, and that his quick obeying of the command is part of the price of enjoying his Devotee lifestyle.

When using a command a Princess needs to make it clear that what she says is a command. A simple way of doing this is by saying only the command without any other words. For example "Why don't you lie on your back" could be a question, a suggestion, or a direction. "Back" is clearly the Back command.

A Princess will usually say a command in a normal tone of voice. She knows what she wants, and she knows that as long as her Knight clearly hears what she says, he will do as asked. Only if a couple are `play acting´ will a Princess say a command as if she were a Sergeant Major or a BDSM Mistress.

Of course a Princess can command anything she wishes (as long as it is within her Knight's limits). "I want you to lick my knees" is clearly a command, albeit a bit unusual!

The following commands differ in that the Princess need only say one word for an action to take place.

Basic commands control common Devotee activities, so these are the commands most likely to be used by a Princess. (More)

Ritual is a very special command, and is part of what is represented by the Devotional Sex logo. By just saying this one word and doing some simple actions, a Princess can enjoy her choice of an intimate cuddle, a Pleasure Kiss, or some other pleasures. (More)

Other commands is a list of commands which are less likely to be used by Devotees. A more adventurous Princess, or one who enjoys using commands, may have lots of fun using any of these commands which take her fancy. (More)

The links above take you to the pages listing the commands. Each page also says how and when each command can be used.

As with all the new words I have used when on this site, a Devotee couple can ignore my words and use any words they wish. If you think of a better name for a command, please let me know so that I can share it with the other readers of this site.

Basic commands  |  The Ritual command  |  Other commands
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