Do the energised cuddles make Devotional Sex unique?

[Devotional Sex]

Because a Knight does not ejaculate after most sexual activity, it is common for him to be aroused and erect during an intimate 'just a cuddle' in bed.

His Princess accepts his arousal as the natural way for her Knight to be. As both know that sexual activity won't happen EVERY morning and night, she feels relaxed in enjoying some intimacy with her Knight that goes no further than a cuddle.

Her Knight desires sex, and he never knows when things will go further and when they will not. His eagerness to go to bed with his Princess for 'just a cuddle' and to stay in bed for a cuddle before getting up, will partly be driven by his hope that something more may develop. So without doubt his enthusiasm to enjoy this intimacy is powered by his erotic energy.

Though a Knight will feel his Princess's power over him during just a cuddle (as he must wait to see whether or not she decides things will go further) his Princess will not be actively dominating him. When she does not feel like going further it will just feel normal for her to go no further than a cuddle.

Because the Knight is erect the cuddle will have some erotic energy. A Knight learns to relax with this energy - the cuddling is more of a Tantric meditation celebrating his erotic desire for his Princess. The cuddles are intimacy and mutual devotion between a loving couple, and I think this makes these cuddles different from a BDSM Dom/sub dynamic or a tease and denial dynamic.

Perhaps the biggest benefit of practicing Devotional Sex for a couple comes from enjoying so much intimacy. That he has an erection during 'just a cuddle' is not a demand for sex, but his showing his desire for his Princess. His erection just adds some energy to the intimacy.

Such cuddles are probably the most common Devotional activity (of the 7 mornings and 7 bedtimes each week most Devotee couples will have more 'just cuddles' than sexual sessions).

I don't think that there is any other sexual technique or lifestyle which does this. (If you know of a another technique please let me know). So part of what makes Devotional Sex unique and special is what happens when no sexual activity occurs.

And having lived this with several Princesses I can assure you that it works wonderfully!

I look forward to any discussion on whether or not such erotically powered cuddles are unique to Devotional Sex.

And if anyone has practiced Devotional Sex and learned to enjoy many such cuddles with your partner as a new normal part of your life together, please post and let us know how this has worked for you.

[Devotional Sex]

I posted the above in my FetLife group and their Lady Catana posted (reposted with her permission):

Brilliant observation, Devotional and I agree wholeheartedly. And to be honest, the one thing I miss the most about being in such a relationship is, indeed, the cuddling you speak of. I have found that outside of this type of relationship, as you pointed out, the importance of such moments goes unheeded, as some are quite eager to move on to the next experience, with or without that same partner, a friends with benefits and playmate type relationship, which while fine when one is young and or newly released from a hitherto oppressive relationship or life, does not seem to suit, at least Myself, as one grows a bit older and becomes more "intune" with the necessity to feel whole. The heart puts forth energy in a 360 degree circle to those in its immediate presence, and to be present with a cherished Knight, Lady, or Princess while one's heart is filled with grace and devotion is unlike anything else I have ever experienced. Thank You, D, for hopping onto this subject. It is a pleasure to realize others feel similarly as I do.

Lady Catana

I then added ....

@LadyCatana - Thanks for posting.

I discovered / invented Devotional Sex while in a ten year relationship. For the last few years of that relationship we lived Devotional Sex, and one part of how we did this was that we had a cuddle every morning and every bedtime.

When this relationship ended I of course missed having sex. But no sex was nothing compared to the deep emotional loss of missing out on my two daily cuddles.

When I finally recovered enough to start dating I had no idea of whether or not Devotional Sex would work as well with other women. My thinking that real intimacy was more important than having a quick fuck made me brave enough to try Devotional Sex with the first date that might of got somewhere. Devotional Sex worked so well with her that from then on I used Devotional Sex for all my dating.

Though Devotional Sex means that my date decides what happens - the path my Princesses took tended to be fairly similar. For almost all my dates which moved into the bedroom what would happen was that I would keep my underpants on the whole time, she would get as much oral sex as she wanted, and most of our time would be energised kissing and cuddling.

These first sessions in bed had a lot more sexual activity than the 'just a cuddle' I was writing about in the first entry here. But this unique way of enjoying first sexual activity was fantastic for creating and enjoying intimacy and connection - and as I did not get to ejaculate - these first sessions often lasted for many hours.

The detailed story of my first date with Princess Ada is told here on my website.

Those who practice Devotional Sex may enjoy sessions of BDSM-style kinky activities. But as I hope is clear from all I've written, the rest of the time Devotional Sex is much more about intimacy and connection than kink.

[Devotional Sex]

I've just posted the following entry to my Devotional Sex photo-blog:

The Devotional Cuddle: The most common Devotional Sex activity.

A Devotional Cuddle is when a couple cuddle with her holding, and perhaps gently playing with, his erection.

This is not the same as her actively playing with his erection to bring him close, or to, ejaculation. Her actively playing is a full sexual activity where she is focussed on doing this. With a Devotional Cuddle she is feeling his energy in her hand but this is just part of a relaxed and erotically charged cuddle.

For many couples who practice Devotional Sex a Devotional Cuddle will be a very common way of starting sexual activity. It gives the Princess time to decide what she wants to happen next, and it establishes some intimacy and connection before jumping into a full sexual activity.

As the Knight usually does not ejaculate at the end of most sessions of sex he will still be aroused and erect. A Devotional Cuddle, even if it is only for a short time, is a very good way to wind down from the session.

Her holding his erection after sexual activity has the Knight feeling that she accepts his energy and him. (Her just rolling over and going to sleep would leave him feeling rejected - as many women know from when the man ejaculates at the end of ‘normal’ sex and then ignores her.)

And as the series of posts on Cuddle Rituals has shown, a couple who practices Devotional Sex may also have a few to many times each week when they enjoy a Devotional Cuddle together which goes no further.

The Devotional Cuddle is a very special Devotional Sex activity because most couples who live Devotional Sex will spend more time each week having a Devotional Cuddle than they do having full sexual activity.

Practicing Devotional Sex makes full sexual activity better - for example she can receive oral sex whenever she wishes for as long as she wishes. But the biggest benefit from practicing Devotional Sex comes from the increase in intimacy and connection, and it is the many Devotional Cuddles which build and then maintain this.

I look forward to any questions or comments on the Devotional Cuddle!

[newlover]

Reading your spicy explanations is a huge turn on all by itself.
We are a mid 50's couple whose sex life is great when we do have sex. Maybe 3 times a month.
We are tired at the end of the day and my wife is in menopause.
If I initiate she usually responds--and well.
I would LOVE if she initiated.
I LOVE to give her oral!
I love to extend foreplay for a long time--towards an hour.

If she was in charge we have sex even less often.
I am embarrassed to show her articles like this.

Any ideas?

Bless you.

New Lover

[Devotional Sex]

Remember that with Devotional Sex the Princess decides what happens but she is not dominant. So with Devotional Sex the Knight can try to initiate activities.

Because the Knight does not ejaculate very often he is usually at least slightly horny, if not fully erect, every morning and every bedtime. His erotic energy initiates the "can I give you a cuddle". His arousal makes clear without words "and if you are in the mood I would love some sexual activity."

Without feeling or acting dominant the Princess decides what happens. Once she is relaxed about cuddles with an energised Knight going no further, just a cuddle becomes very common. And of course she will sometimes decide that full sexual activity will happen.

But as far as sexual activity goes the huge change with Devotional Sex is that sometimes (or often) she will decide on some sexual activity which doesn't go as far as the big session. This might be as little as the cuddle becoming a Devotional Cuddle. Or she may decide that she will give her Knight a little oral sex or that she will have him give her a little.

Unfortunately if your partner doesn't want to be your Princess, and / or she doesn't want to include a few times of little bits of sexual activity in the gaps between full sexual activity, then Devotional Sex will probably not work.

Good luck!