On my Tumblr photo-blog
I was asked:
I have been married for over twenty years and after reading your website I recognize that what you describe is perfect for me and might be very much appreciated by my wife (who is not inclined to more overt kink and "domination."
I am not looking to be dominated by her, but I would enjoy it if she recognized my complete devotion to her.
But we have over twenty years of "traditional" habits, so the question is: How to get from here to there?
Getting to living Devotional Sex is a journey which will require effort from both you and your wife - but is lots of fun as well.
A summary of my how-to is:
1 - Read my website
so you get a full understanding of it all.
2 - If your wife is open to a discussion, tell her what you have found, that you would like to try it, and that you think she might like it.
Don’t expect her to read this site - even if she is very interested she will probably prefer to learn by asking you.
3 - If she is willing to try a taste of Devotional Sex, try a Season. This is starting, perhaps on a Friday evening, that you are her Knight for the weekend (and maybe longer) until she decides you should ejaculate.
In a Season you still let your wife know how you feel about ejaculating (i.e. “It’s challenging but I would like to go on for a bit longer” or “I really feel I’ve gone long enough this time - I think I need to cum soon”) but you still have HER decide when you cum and thus when the Season ends.
4 - You are her roadmap of possibilities - but she will only feel like your Princess if she feels free to choose what happens and when. Be open and honest about which suggestions you like, and work hard to think of how she is feeling so you can make good suggestions for her.
Remember intimacy is a big point of Devotional Sex so let your wife know when you would like to enjoy a cuddle and let her know that when she chooses nothing further need happen.
5 - If first Season is a success, go back to normal for a while, and when time is right suggest another Season (things look good if she suggests a Season).
6 - Lean the Taoist relaxation (multi-orgasmic man technique) - see Chapter 3 of my website
. This is essential for you keeping control over your erotic energy so that you don’t get annoyingly intense. It also makes it easier to enjoy your times during a Season where you are aroused and your wife does not want things to go further.
7 - Living Devotional Sex happens when you BOTH like each Season so much that you BOTH want to start the next Season straight after one Season ends.
8 - If you wife is not keen you can get some of the joys of Devotional Sex (and maybe give you wife time to find some benefits) by becoming a Supplicant Knight
9 - Especially as much of my website is not-yet-written, you may have lots more questions. This is the place for asking questions and sharing your experiences with others.
The best you can do is to find the perfect approach for getting your wife to want to share your exploration. But even then success will depend on how your wife feels about this.
Good luck, and it would be great to see you on the forum.