New Member- MyLadysKnight

[MyLadysKnight]

Hi Everyone;

I just discovered this devotional sex thing and it appeals to me strongly for a lot of reasons. I am a single man about age 50. I have been submissive for as long as I can remember and enjoy the company of a woman. I am currently not in a relationship, but I am dating a couple of ladies, none of which is intimate. These relationships are new and not a a point where devotional sex can be discussed yet but I am excited by the thought. Currently, I have a bdsm mistress who I see from time to time who has a high interest in chastity and orgasm denial.

I really like the devotional sex philosphy because it has the emphasis on connection and intimacy rather than humiliation or any cruelty on the part of the woman. I would expect as I get into this more, My Lady would love me and want to meet my physical, emotional and spirirtual needs as I hers to the appropriate level that empowers both of us. So, while I am waiting, I hope to explore this side of my sexuality.

Well, that's me for now,

MyLadysKnight

[Devotional Sex]

Hi,

Welcome to the forum and thanks for posting such an informative introduction.

Devotional Sex works because a Princess is devoted to her Knight and enjoys pleasing and pleasuring him. Of course she gets to decide when and how, and he won't get all his fantasies lived out, but the giving is both ways.

Conventional dating is often that nothing sexual happens until the time is right (at the end of first date ... third date ... whenever) and some kissing becomes sexual, which is her giving the green light, and things then progress rapidly until as soon as 30 minutes later the man has ejaculated inside her.

So no sexual activity happens until the woman is ready to go all the way, and when things do start they happen so fast that, at least in my old life before Devotional Sex, I would latter have trouble remembering what had happened.

Devotional Sex enables things to be very different, and as I've had lots of success with lots of women, I highly recommend that you take the gamble and give it a go.

Stage one with Devotional Sex you tell you partner about what you do well before any sexual activity. I've often started the discussion whilst at a restaurant over dinner, and once back home I then offer my date a simple taste of the dynamic by suggesting I give them a foot massage. A long foot massage is the perfect time to tell her much more about how it works.

Lots of info on what to say (over time, depending on her interest, and answering her questions) is here on the website.

Stage two is to tell them that to really feel the dynamic it can be fun to do something different, and I suggest that just one of us party or fully undress - letting her know that she chooses who and when. This is likely to end with me naked at their feet while they are still fully dressed.

Stage three is to suggest going to bed. I tell them they can have me put on my underpants back on. You then get an amazing few hours of cuddling, intimacy, and giving her lots of oral sex, and your underpants stay on the whole time.

Stage four is when she starts to touch you, and you get naked, and you explore all this.

Stage five is when you first have intercourse.

The rate of progress is up to you both. I've had several first dates that have gone from stage one to stage three on the first date (and I've enjoyed some dates which have only gone as far as stage one or stage two).

I've always enjoyed the first time at stage three without that session going to stage four. Somehow all my dates that I've gone to bed with have enjoyed the idea of our first bed not involving my penis and me giving them lots of oral sex

With Princess Ada we got to stage thee on our first night but it was not until our 7th date that we had intercourse.

One reason for starting early is that if you take your time with Devotional Sex it will take many sessions to get to intercourse. Another reason to start early is that as soon as your Princess trusts you to only go as far as she wishes, she can agree to lots of activities before she is ready for intercourse.

With a date things will move fairly quickly, but with a Devotional Friend progress can be very slow, as with me and Tracey where there were many foot massages over about a year before she had me be naked at her feet for the first time.

You can read about my first date with Ada and my adventures with Tracey here on the website.

I was incredibly nervous the first time I told a date about Devotional Sex. But at that time I had only practiced Devotional Sex within one relationship, and I had no idea of how it would work with dating, and how a woman might respond to the concepts.

My first date with Emma was so incredibly better than ordinary dating that from then on I vowed to myself that I would always use Devotional Sex when dating. And after telling lots of dates about Devotional Sex I've found that because the technique is so female friendly, has no mention of BDSM or FemDom etc, that most women find the concept interesting.

This long reply will hopefully encourage you to broach the topic with a date, and hopefully give her a foot massage as you tell her more.

I'm happy to answer any questions, and if you give it a go, please post again and let us know how it goes.

Happy exploring!

[MyLadysKnight]

Wow! Thank you for your lengthy and thoughtful response. I do have a question concerning devotional dating. What Is the thought behind a knight not ejaculating ever while dating? Even if the lady desires it.

[Devotional Sex]

A brief reply now (and I'll write more on this in more detail on the website):

The man not ejaculating most of the times there is sexual activity is what happens when living in a Devotional Relationship, so dating is taking that part of normal Knightly behaviour and applying it to a date.

The man not every ejaculating ever when dating is a very effective and powerful way of teaching a new woman how to become a Princess. The whole dynamic at the start is very different if he says "and no matter what we do I will not ejaculate " or if he says "I'll only ejaculate if you allow". The second phrase retains all the usual expectation that things will move forward to male ejaculation, and no matter what the Knight says after this it will have the new Princess thinking that his ejaculation is expected / hoped for, etc.

With pure Devotional Sex the Knight never ejaculating with his date will eventually power the couple to want to take the big step and form a Devotional Relationship (this is a big step in your sexual life together - like first intercourse - not a social event like getting engaged). Moving to a Devotional Relationship means that from then on the Knight will only ever ejaculate when his Princess allows.

There are no Devotional Sex police, and in practice couples can be less strict.

Princess Ada wanted me to ejaculate with her before we formed a Devotional Relationship, and doing this as a rare exception was fun and did not damage the dynamic. But by the time we did this it was well established that normal sexual activity for us did not include my ejaculation, so having me cum that time didn't create any expectations with me or her that I would get to ejaculate often in the future with her.

Note as well that the man not ejaculating when with a date forms part of the definition of Devotional Dating - which is part of what makes Devotional Dating different from ordinary dating. I am saying what Devotional Sex is, but I'm not telling anyone that they must practice pure Devotional Sex.

I said before that even though I went from step one to three with Ada the first date it took seven dates before we first had intercourse. It took many more dates (how many is probably recorded in the blog) before I first ejaculated with her.

What you do is up to you, but I do believe that the Knight not ejaculating when with a date is an essential ingredient of creating and maintaining the devotional dynamic, and it is this which enable much of the intimacy and fun of Devotional Dating.

Just the possibility of your ejaculating makes stage 2 dangerous because of hidden expectations that more activity will follow. Just the possibility that the Knight can ejaculate makes stage 3 even more dangerous, and will prevent the amazing erotic relaxation, fun, and intimacy when you first go to bed together.

Your potential Princess starts to really feel like a Princess (and thus the real fun starts) as soon as she believes that you really will do what she says, and that she believes that you really will not ejaculate with her. It is this that makes her feel comfortable exploring stages two, three, and four.

And for course once a Knight has learned to orgasm without ejaculating he is able to enjoy non-ejaculatory orgasms with a date whenever his date wants to bring him to this state.

So much for a brief reply

[Devotional Sex]

Thinking about this further, I'm now feel pretty certain that my telling my date that I will not ejaculate has always been an essential part of getting to enjoy some Devotional intimacy with her.

With BDSM a submissive man wants a knowledgeable (about BDSM), naturally dominant women who also wants to be his Mistress. Though this desire comes from him being submissive, what he is wanting is his date (or partner) to be and act dominant. As dominant she does the work of setting up the dynamic and ensuring that things go as she wishes. She will feel confident and in control from the beginning, and it can be up to her to decide whether or not her date will be allowed to ejaculate.

With all my Devotional Dating my date has not know anything about Devotional Sex (or about BDSM), and I've never dated a naturally dominant woman.

I present my date with what I do, so I'm in control of setting up the potential situation. I then leave it totally up to my date as to whether or not anything happens.

I'm feel certain that my bolting the door of ejaculating shut is an essential part of my date feeling safe and relaxed to enter the room of Devotional intimacy. Because I've done the work of preventing things going all the way, my date does not need to act or even feel dominant.

This makes a good example of how Devotional Sex can be very different from BDSM and FemDom.

And it is this huge difference that makes Devotional Sex suitable for a submissive man to use when dating non-dominant, non kinky, women.

[MyLadysKnight]

I guess I never realized the power of a knight's ejaculation has in the relationship dynamic. It's just semen after all. I mean a princess can have as many orgasms as she desires and her erotic energy is then substantially lowered after. But a knight's erotic energy is higher then hers most of the time and I would think that would mean increased attentiveness to her fueled by his desire. This is all part of the natural and primal human mating drives because he wants to impregnate her and reproduce. So if I get what you're saying is that my self imposed ejaculation denial introduces a more human spirit dimension to the relationship by injecting a choice rather than following the natural order. Do you see any potential conflicts here long term because of the imbalance between the two energies or because the princess would typically have a lower sex drive, she would in fact control the sex anyway...?

Thanks.

[Devotional Sex]

The effect of not ejaculating often will vary amongst men. Factors include whether the approach is the multi-ograsmic man relaxation with slight higher energy or more of a BDSM ejaculation denial with slightly calmed energy; how used the man is to not ejaculating; and finally it comes down to personal taste whether or not this can be used as a beneficial thing for his sex life.

For men who like everything about Devotional Sex except for the lack of ejaculations there is Lite Devotional Sex.

For most men not ejaculating keeps their erotic energy high, and over time this builds up an erotic intensity. Devotional Sex says that the man should keep this energy calm enough for his life to be practicable and for his Princess to not be annoyed by excess energy. But this energy is a vital part of Devotional Sex because it keeps the many always at least slightly horny and this powers his desire to always obey his Princess's sensual and sexual commands.

Women vary greatly after their orgasms, and it can depend on what type of orgasm they have as well. But usually if there is a flat period after orgasm they recover much quicker than a man, and my experience is that when women are in the middle part (not fully flat, but not wanting to be fully aroused) that they enjoy erotic cuddling and some erotic activities - and so Devotional activities can restart well before they are fully recharged.

Devotional Sex increases the Knight's sex drive so that he would like sexual activity several times every day - day after day, until the flat period after he ejaculates which gives them both a rest from his high energy. As he wants it all the time, and as that is impractical and far too much activity, the Princess decides when things will happen.

The big difference with Devotional Sex is that lots of little things happen between the main sessions. For example, if a couple before Devotional Sex made love say three times per week, then with Devotional Sex they may still only have long full sessions about three times per week. But with Devotional Sex there may also be lots of Blissettes, erotic fun in the living room, and of course lots of erotically powered cuddles in bed.

But there can be problems if a women's flat period goes on for too long and her Knight is charged up.

Devotional Sex is really the couple making a deal that she will ensure that her Knight gets enough fun to remain wanting to be her Knight, whilst she can initiate and reject sex whenever she wishes.

When dating the ejaculation denial, especially for the first say ten sessions, is all about exploring intimacy slowly and the women learning to become your Princess.

The ejaculation denial when dating is much easier than when in a Devotional Relationship because in a relationship the Princess controls when her Knight may ejaculate, and this may be several days away, but when dating the Knight is allowed to ejaculate as soon as he is not with his Princess.

I've written another very long reply, so enough for now. Thanks for inspiring me to write so much!