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Last updated: 27 July 2009
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Key Concept Overview


`FemDom´ is short for female domination. This is a BDSM activity where the female is dominant and her partner is submissive.

Most writing about FemDom is fairly extreme, and it often includes other BDSM activities and fetishes such as discipline and humiliation.

FemDom can be practiced in many ways. But there are many in the BDSM world who believe that the lifestyle is only
`real FemDom´ when it is taken to the extreme.

For example, some believe that a
`real Mistress´ should not care about her submissive or slave, and that she should fully control not just sexual activity but the whole relationship, including finances.

For an overview of female dominance as presented within BDSM, see the Wikipedia article at

Other recommended sources of information about FemDom, together with my reviews of these sources, are listed here.


FemDom works very well when a dominant woman (who wants to be a Mistress) has a partner who enjoys submitting.

But FemDom does not work well (or at all) when the woman does not want to be a Mistress (perhaps because she does not want to be dominant) or when the man does not want to be a full BDSM-style submissive.

Female erotic power within Devotional Sex

Devotional Sex is made up of three components, one of which is mild female erotic power, ie mild FemDom.

To act as a balance to her Knight's higher-than-usual erotic energy and his constant desire for sex, a Princess has the power to control all sensual and sexual activities. This is called Princess Power.

Devotional Sex replaces the standard FemDom imagery of the leather-clad, whip-yielding dominatrix with a loving, sexy woman who is usually not dominant. This change, plus the much milder female control used in Devotional Sex, makes it a fun and realistic lifestyle for many couples.

With Devotional Sex the main focus is not on kinky activities but on
enjoying standard sexual activities in a slower, longer lasting, and more sensual manner. This is a small step in the direction of Tantric sex, and it significantly increases intimacy and connection within the relationship.

Those put off by the extreme nature of most material on BDSM may find the much milder and more loving nature of Devotional Sex to be more attractive.

FemDom as an entry to Devotional Sex

Chapter 14 of this site discusses BDSM in relation to Devotional Sex, including FemDom.

Because many people have heard of FemDom, but few have (yet) heard about Devotional Sex, some who have an interest in FemDom may find that Devotional Sex is just what they are looking for.
Devotional Sex may be suited to:

How Devotional Sex differs from FemDom

Devotional Sex is not the same as FemDom because 
a Devotional Princess is usually not a dominant woman, a Devotional Knight does not need to be submissive (or he may enjoy only mild submission), and the Devotional Sex lifestyle and dynamic is usually very different from that of a FemDom couple.

Further discussion of differences between FemDom and Devotional Sex can be found in Chapter 14 here.

Real-life and fictional stories

This site does not include any traditional FemDom stories in which a very dominant woman takes control of a submissive male, or any stories involving a non-consenting male.

But all the stories on this site, both real-life and fictional, include at least some mild FemDom elements in the interaction between the Princess (who is usually not dominant) and her always consenting Knight.

Though the stories on this site may be arousing, their main aim is to encourage people to try Devotional Sex in real life.

The use of Princess Power within many of these stories is such a natural part of Devotional Sex that the reader may need to look for the ways in which the action is being controlled in order to detect where the use of female erotic power is taking place. For example, see the Opening Story, where Susan's erotic control over Sam is just a normal part of their day.

In BDSM, a submissive male suggesting what might happen is called `topping from the bottom´. This is regarded as a bad thing for him to do, and something that a Mistress should not allow. In almost every BDSM FemDom story, the female comes up with all the ideas about what happens. In these stories the male role is just to submit. (In most FemDom fiction what the Mistress does just magically happens to be the innermost fantasy of the male reader.) 

The real-life story of Ada's first experience of Devotional Sex shows that Devotional Sex is very different.

In this story Michael presents a map of possibilities to Ada. This story shows how Devotional Sex is more like a partnership than traditional BDSM-style female domination.

But Ada's Princess Power is very real because it is she who decides what does and does not happen, when and if an activity starts and when it will end.

A male's FemDom fantasy might be to have a first date in which the activities of the above story take place.

As his chance of finding a woman who will initiate and fully control such a scenario is very small, his fantasy will almost certainly stay just that.

But the story of Ada's first experience of Devotional Sex is all true.

Using Devotional Sex
makes it not just possible, but fairly likely that a first date, even with a non-dominant woman, will include the use of very real female erotic power.

As it is the Princess who decides what happens, each first date using Devotional Sex will be different. Having enjoyed many such first dates, I can assure you that even though they are all different, they have all been lots of fun.

You can read more about Devotional Dating here.

For more Devotional Sex stories, go to the complete list of real-life stories or the complete list of fictional stories.

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