Devotional Sex

 
Taoist Sex
 


Comparing Tao and Devotional Sex

Devotional Sex can use some of the Taoist techniques:
But there are also major differences:
These key differences mean that the dynamic, feel, and lifestyle of the two techniques are very different.
 

 
The previous page looked at the book The Multi-Orgasmic Man which is what taught me about Taoist sexual practices and led me to discover Devotional Sex.

This page goes into the differences listed above in more detail as well as introducing some other differences.

Which technique, if either, is better for you and your partner is for you to decide. So no criticism of Tao or those who practice this is intended.

 

When sexual activity ends

With both Tao and Devotional Sex the man doesn't ejaculate at the end of most sexual activity.

With Tao sexual activity lasts long enough, and he has enough non-ejaculatory orgasms, that he reaches a point where he feels he has had enough sexual activity.

His satisfaction is high, his desire for further activity is low, and so, not that he would, he could easily say "thank you" and rollover and go to sleep.
 

 
With Devotional Sex there can be a few times when activity goes on for long enough (and/or he has enough non-ejaculatory orgasms) that when sexual activity is ended by his Princess he also feels he has had enough and so he too could just roll over and go to sleep.

But most of the time when she ends sexual activity his energy is so high that he would feel rejected if she just rolled over and went to sleep. With Devotional Sex it is the man who needs a cuddle afterwards!

Devotional Sex encourages her to not just cuddle him but to make it a Devotional Cuddle. If his energy is very high the Devotional Cuddle enables him to experience Exaltation, and if it is lower he may go straight to Adoration.

The intimacy and pleasures of Exaltation and Adoration are pleasures unique to Devotional Sex.

 

Managing his energy in bed

Both Tao and Devotional Sex have the man learn to manage and control his erotic energy so that he doesn't feel frustrated when sexual activity ends, and so during the time between sex his energy is low enough for him to lead a normal life and not be so on edge that he annoys his partner.

With both the his background erotic energy becomes a pleasant background energy without which life feels a bit flat.
 

 
With Tao the man learns to circulate his energy so that it's felt throughout the body and not just in the genitals. This is the technique taught in the The Multi-Orgasmic Man as learning to circulate his energy is the first steps towards learning to orgasm without ejaculating.

With Tao his energy is calmed so that on those wake-ups and bedtimes which don't have any sexual activity things are fairly similar to vanilla sex, ie he is not energized and erect and wanting sex, but is calm.

As with vanilla sex, if his partner wanted sex he could rise to the occasion, and sometimes he will start to get aroused and suggest sex.
 

 
Part of the definition of Devotional Sex is that a Knight commits to take prime responsibility for keeping his erotic energy under control.

It's not part of the definition how he does this, so anything which works is fine. But as I've proven to myself that the Taoist method works and it's fairly easy to learn, this is what I recommend. The
Knight going a bit further and learning to orgasm without ejaculating is an optional enhancement to Devotional Sex.

The big difference between Tao and Devotional Sex is that Devotional Sex has the man deliberately not perfect the calming so that his background erotic energy remains much higher.

With Devotional Sex his background energy is so high that he may often (or even always) get aroused and erect when waking up or going to bed with his Princess. And if he isn't Eager, then it doesn't take much for her to quickly make him Eager.

 

Her control

With Tao, because he is so calm and he doesn't want sex all the time, there is no need for him to give her control. So for sexual activity to happen it is negotiated in the same way as done by a vanilla couple (one suggests, the other accepts or rejects).

A big difference from vanilla is that though vanilla sex can be done fairly quickly, with Tao when she agrees to some sex he will be expecting that this last long enough and gives him enough non-ejaculatory orgasms that he can end this sex feeling satisfied and not frustrated.

As with vanilla, Taoist sex has a focus on intercourse - so sex usually means foreplay then intercourse.
 

 
With Devotional Sex he is often or always eager for sex, and so the deal is that she always accepts his arousal and he gives her control over when sex happens and what happens.

This means that if she ever wishes for some activity he is keen, and when she doesn't want any activity his energy is usually used to enjoy either just a cuddle or a Devotional Cuddle.

With her having control some sessions of activity will be fairly short and some long. One big difference from both Tao and vanilla is that it is common with Devotional Sex to have sessions which don't include intercourse.
 

 
With Tao the man decides when he will ejaculate.

With Devotional Sex he gives his Princess control over this, which enables her to have him ejaculate earlier than usual if she wants a rest from his energy, or have him go a bit longer if having him a bit more charged up than usual is fun for both.

 

Her receiving oral sex

Tao still has intercourse as the primary sexual act.

For example, oral sex to her is only mentioned on four pages of
The Multi-Orgasmic Man. The small section on 'Tongue Kung Fu' includes:

Whatever your personal feelings are about oral sex, you should know that it is probably the fastest way to get a woman’s vaginal juices flowing in preparation for lovemaking. As we discussed earlier, it is also the easiest, and for some women the only, way in which they have an orgasm.

So, like good conventional sex, him giving her oral is seen as a desirable part of foreplay, and Tao doesn't lead to lots of session which include him giving her oral but exclude intercourse.

But, like with Devotional Sex, Chia writes about how Tao can change a man's feelings about giving her oral sex, writing:

One multi-orgasmic man described his conversion to an oral-sex fan: “In the past, I definitely didn’t like to use my tongue because it felt like I wasn’t getting anything out of it. I was kind of selfish, really – I was a getter. And now my partner will be having these incredible orgasms because of what I am doing with my tongue, and it feels great to watch. I even start tingling in my body. It’s true what the Tao says about when you are in tune. I get by giving. This is something a lot of guys miss. I know I did for a long time.”

 

Managing his energy during normal life

With Tao (and Tantra) the man learns to full calm his erotic energy so that it is just a pleasant life force.

With the erotic component this calm the energy can be thought of as more spiritual than erotic.
 

 
With Devotional Sex he also has to learn to calm his energy enough for normal life to be relaxing and enjoyable. But his Enlivened state deliberately has more erotic energy and is thus more sexual.
 
So with Devotional Sex it is very easy for him to become Attentive and then Eager.
 

 
The difference between Tao and Devotional Sex may be noticed by friends.

If at Taoist couple visited friends it's likely that they would notice that he has a
calmness and serenity about him.

But if a Devotee couple visited friends they might
be surprised how attentive he was to her, how happy she was to have his attention - and wonder how a couple that had been together so long could still have an air of being a young couple in love (and lust) for the first time.

 

How long does he last?

The Multi-Orgasmic Man recommends that a 20 year old man who has learned the technique ejaculate about every four days and a 50 year old every 2o days.

If you look at my page on How Often Does a Knight Ejaculate? you will see that I've set the average for an experienced Knight at half
The Multi-Orgasmic Man recommendation, and set my recommendation for his rare peak at The Multi-Orgasmic Man recommendation.

This is because a Knight deliberately has higher energy (and I suspect much more sexual activity) and so he builds up his energy quicker.

And though a Knight has lots fewer ejaculations than before, ejaculations are still a pleasurable part of being a Knight. I doubt more ejaculations than happen with Tao will have much effect on his longevity.

 

Avoiding unwanted ejaculations

The Multi-Orgasmic Man describes several ways of avoiding ejaculating when he is about to loose control, including squeezing the penis and pressing the "million-dollar point".

I think that these techniques are like putting training wheels onto a bicycle, and thus rather than teaching the new cyclist to ride on two wheels the new cyclist may start to reply on the training wheels to not fall over.

For a young child training wheels are a good way of avoiding injuries. But for an adult one or two instances of falling off is usually enough for them to get the idea of how to stay upright. With sex the falling off is ejaculating when this isn't wanted, which isn't the end of the world.

What is important in both real Tao and Devotional Sex is that the man learns to be in the Energized state without getting into the Edging state. So if he gets into the Edging state or is moving too close to it, he needs techniques to move back to the control of being Energized.

As well as just slowing down or stopping activity for as long as is needed for him to regain control,  Tao uses the technique of circulating his energy, and this can be used within Devotional Sex as well.

I'm sure I read somewhere years ago (but have not been able to find this on the net recently) that as the million-dollar point distracts men from learning the microcosmic orbit, Mantak Chia later said that his biggest mistake was including this technique in
The Multi-Orgasmic Man.

   

Tao led me to Devotional Sex

The Taoist sexual techniques taught in The Multi-Orgasmic Man was pivotal to my discovering Devotional Sex.

I bought the book and was teaching myself the technique (ie doing the exercises alone and ejaculating far less often than usual). Of course at first I wasn't great at controlling my energy, and so each night in bed I had much higher than usual erotic energy and my partner knew I was keen for sex. And for a few nights in a row she obliged.

Then one night she got annoyed and said "I wish you would give up on that book. I'm sick and tired of you always wanting sex!"

I replied that I was keen to keep doing it, but she was right that I was asking for far more sex than was reasonable. So I said "How about I keep going, but from now on you decide when we have sex,  so if you wish then nothing happens tonight?"

She said "Good", rolled over, and went to sleep.

This was the moment we first combined my practicing
The Multi-Orgasmic Man (but with much higher energy than real Tao) with my having given her having control.

Starting Devotional Sex this way meant that she didn't need to act or feel dominant when she decided that a wake up or bedtime would be no more than a cuddle. And with my higher than proper Tao erotic energy I was always eager for any activity she allowed, so she didn't have to act or feel dominant to have something happen either.

So rather than perfecting Tao we started living what I now call Devotional Sex.

 

 
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Page last updated: 26 August  17                                                                               Copyright © MichaelK 2017