Feelings define what is being done

[Devotional Sex]

When I post about Devotional Sex it's not uncommon for some people to respond that activities which happen in DevS are just the same as what is already common.

Due, I think to porn, many now define an act by what they SEE and how they want to think about it.

Confused? Well lets looks at a vanilla example:

Imagine you are walking down the street at night and you notice that you can see into a bedroom as the blinds are not closed and the light is on. You see a man on top of a woman having intercourse. It's fairly activity sex. Not wanting to be accused of being of being a voyeur, you walk on.

What did you see?

Perhaps these are lovers/partners, and he has been away for a while. When he got back they wanted each other so much that they forgot that the bed could be clearly seen from the road and they needed to shut the blinds. What you saw could have been passionate, loving, rebonding sex. How lovely!

BUT, perhaps this was an ex or a stranger, and she didn't want sex with him, but he had dragged her to the bedroom and what you saw was rape.

What you SAW through the window could be either. What defines which it was is how she (and he) were FEELING about this.

With Devotional Sex the woman has control over what happens, and most of the time when she ends activity it ends without him ejaculating.

Some people think that this means that what is happening must be kinky - it's about her dominance, his submission, and her denying him release.

Another activity enjoyed by most who practice DevS is spending some time together where she is dressed but she has him be naked, and he is aroused for most or at least some of the time. Within DevS I call this Affirmation.

Some think that this must be CFNM which is again about dominance and submission and having him feel humiliated by his nudity.

Looking at what happens and thinking BDSM means that there is nothing original about DevS - it's just fancy new terminology for well know BDSM practices.

It's when her and his FEELINGS about what is happening are considered that it becomes clear that though things look the same they are very different experiences.

A man only becomes a Knight if he decides that both he and her will have a much better sex and intimate life with Devotional Sex. Part of being a Knight is agreeing to have far fewer ejaculations. This increases his energy so that he desires sexual activity every morning and night (and other times when possible). So the next component of DevS is that he gives her control over when sex happens. Part of the magic of DevS is that when she also has control over what happens then the mix of activities changes significantly and lots more sessions happen. He benefits from all this extra activity.

So her having control of what happens isn't about domination and submission. A Princess never needs to act nor feel dominant. And he is happy to give her control because this means sexual activity happens much more often and he also enjoys that she enjoys sex much more.

If a Knight usually goes for say 10 days before Release, then up until day 8 his Princess won't even be thinking of the possibility of having him release. And he won't be thinking that release might happen either. So when she ends sexual activity without him ejaculating he doesn't feel that she is denying him - she is just practicing normal DevS which is what he wants to have happen.

With denial she will often ignore him once activity ends. But with DevS what both enjoy is his energy powering the intimacy and connection of the post-activity Devotional Cuddle. And if his energy is very high, he may enjoy Exaltation at the start of this cuddle.

A Knight is always keen to do something with his energy. Affirmation enables both to celebrate their Devotional Dynamic and he feels his energy is used. As with all DevS she decides when Affirmation starts and stops as she will only enjoy his nudity and arousal when this is what she wants.

Years ago someone insisted that naked male, clothed female can only be about male humiliation. So I added a question to my Affirmation Survey. What I found is that the vast majority of Knights, though they felt hers during Affirmation, also felt PROUD to be her Knight. Feeling pride is the opposite of feeling humiliated.

Couples who practice DevS can add a little kink if they wish. But pure DevS doesn't include any domination, submission, denial or humiliation. So DevS FEELS very different from the kink world, and that makes it a different technique.

This is yet another quickly written post to get my thoughts down. So I may edit it later.

I welcome questions, comments, and any discussion.

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