The Devotional Cuddle with Dev. Dating & Dev. Friends

[Devotional Sex]

This is another first draft from my eBook about Devotional Sex for Singles.

The Devotional Cuddle

Within a relationship a key benefit of Devotional Sex is increasing and then maintaining intimacy and connection. For most this leads to not only better sexual intimacy but a better overall relationship.

So how can this happen when she ends sexual activity whenever she wishes leaving him very aroused?

If she enjoys an orgasm, then just rolls over and goes to sleep, he would feel ignored and frustrated. Yes, this is a role reversal from a common experience for women. With Devotional Sex it is the man who wants a cuddle afterwards.

Having a cuddle is great for him feeling connected to his Princess. But his his strong sexual arousal is left hanging and he may feel frustration.

So with Devotional Sex as well as giving him a cuddle a Princess takes hold of his erection and gently holds it. This is called a Devotional Cuddle.

Sometimes, especially after a very long session, his energy will be relaxed. Though hard he won’t be feeling that his body wants to ejaculate. The Devotional Cuddle then becomes a time of feeling relaxed intimacy and connection with his Princess.

Sometimes his energy will be high and his body can feel like it really wants Release. This doesn’t mean that he wants Release, as a Knight enjoys having energy all of the time, and his preference isn’t to have Release but to keep his energy for the next day and the next session. But even so, his body wants Release.

In this high energy stage he can surrender to his commitment to be her Knight and rather than feel frustrated direct this energy into feeling intense intimacy and connection. This can be so powerful that it is like a emotional orgasm for him. I’ve called this Exaltation, and I suspect it is a male pleasure which is unique to Devotional Sex.

For her a post-sex Devotional Cuddle can have a mix of emotions. Perhaps she is just relaxing after her orgasm and enjoying her Knight being so close. She may feel special or powerful because she has had an orgasm and he is going witout. She may like the fact that his erection proves that he really enjoyed pleasuring her. And she may love feeling his energy knowing that he has committed to not ejacualte until she decides, and that may be many days away.

Whatever mix of emotions she feels at this time, the Devotional Sex is a time for her to enjoy that he is her Knight.

One benefit of Devotional Sex for women is much better sex (what happens before orgasm). Another is that they can reach their orgasmic potential (some enjoy more than seven orgasms each week). But biggest benefit most often chosen is the increase in intimacy and connection, and thus a better relationship. As the sexual intimacy is most intense during a Devotional Cuddle, this happens often.

As well as having a Devotional Cuddle when sexual activity ends, a Princess might start a session with a Devotional Cuddle as she decides what activity she wishes to start with. And when she isn’t in the mood for sexual activity, a Devotional Cuddle is a wonderful way for a couple to enjoy an intimate cuddle.

The Devotional Cuddle within Devotional Dating

As Devotional Dating is exploring moving into a relationship, the Devotional Cuddle becomes a fun and powerful way of building intimacy and connection.

But this doesn’t mean it needs to happen right from the start.

A new Princess may enjoy having the first time in bed be just about her. She has him keep his underpants on the whole time, and never even touches his underpants with her hands. Instead she enjoys her chosen mix of Pleasure Play and Pleasure Kissing.

Her second (or later) session can be more of the same, but this time she ends with touching his erection over his underpants. This will feel amazing to him, and thus be lots of fun for her to do.

The contrast with what they have just enjoyed is huge. She may have enjoyed hours of receiving oral sex and lots or orgasms, and he is now feeling amazing excitement and pleasure just from her touching him over his underpants.

The next session can be her finally touching his erection with her hands. If this happens at the end of the session then this first touch can be just a Devotional Cuddle (ie she doesn’t actively play with him).

If she is the one introducing him to Devotional Sex then she could say that he can take his underpants off if he is truely committed to being her Knight, and if he does so he will get a reward (ie she gives him his first Devotional Cuddle).

Going very slow can be huge amounts of fun and very powerful. But a Princess who wishes can, of course, move much faster.
So Devotional Dating is moving to a sex life with lots of Devotional Cuddles.

The Devotional Cuddle within a Devotional Friendship

A Devotional Friendship isn’t about moving towards the full intimacy and connection of a relationship and fully satisfying both. Rather it is about enjoying the activities the Princess wishes and not doing those things she doesn’t want to be part of this Devotional Friendship.

So a Princess who takes her Knight to bed may decide to always have her Knight wear underpants and to never touch him over them, or allow him to be naked in bed but to never touch him. She might decide to hold his erection over his underpants but never go any further.

A Princess who wishes to use her Devotional Friendship to enjoy sexual intimacy could decide to enjoy naked cuddles in bed with Devotional Cuddles but for them never to engage in sexual activity.

She could also decide to enjoy her chosen mix of Pleasure Play and Pleasure Kisses, have lots of orgasms, and to end their sessions with a Devotional Cuddle.

So Devotional Cuddles become a key part of Devotional Dating, but are optional with Devotional Friends. This shows how Dating and Friends are two different ways of enjoying Devotional Sex.

I welcome any comments or questions.

Note that this topic is in the part of the forum which can be read by anyone. See HERE for how you can reply to this post (which can be totally anonymous).

[Devotional Sex]

In reply to my posting the above in the Devotional Sex Reddit group (reddit.com/devotionalsex) I received:

If I were a man dating a woman who introduced this idea, I probably would be initially ALL for it because it means sexual activity!! And then I expect to be frustrated and confused because we aren't "having sex" and I don't get to ejaculate. Imagining that she would usher me through that transition, I would VERY happily, VERY eagerly, be her Knight (with my shining armor and underwear in the corner someplace).

This is a really important post because it shows female readers that there are men who would be keen to be their Knight.

It also shows her need to be prepared for him getting "frustrated and confused" by this because it is so different. When DevS is HER idea she will need to be able to 'usher him though the transition' to being happy to remain her Knight.

When is HIS idea to do Devotional Dating or Friends he will need to prove to her that unlike conventional sex this isn't all about his erection and ejaculation. So him suggestion that the first time they go to bed she has him wear his underpants the whole time will give her confidence that he really is different. I've found that when this is done it's very likely that she won't even touch him over his underpants that first night.

But when it is HER idea it's likely that it would work best if she showed him that DevS is also pleasurable for him.

DevS isn't about equality in activities, but about both being equally happy, and this first time in bed provides a great example.

After cuddling in bed the first time she can have him give her oral sex and she can orgasm. This will, of course, have him VERY aroused. When he comes back up for a cuddle, rather than ignoring his energy she can give him a Devotional Cuddle over his underpants ie hold his erection over his underpants. Her touch will feel amazing to him.

To reward him further, and to enjoy his arousal, she can then say "Back" (have him lie on his back), and she can then play with his erection over his underpants. This will be very intense pleasure for him.

So activity wise she is the clear winner as she has received oral sex and had an orgasm, and he has only been touched over his underpants. But for intensity of experience and pleasure of what has happened, he can feel as happy overall as her.

The next time she takes him to bed then she can play with him over his underpants again, then put a few fingers in for gentle skin-on-skin touching. From then on she can end activities with a real Devotional Cuddle.

If he accepts his commitment made at the very beginning of the session to not ejaculate when with her, then things can end with a cuddle. But what if he starts talking about his need to ejaculate?

One way for her to handle this is to be assertive (or dominant) and just insist that he fulfills his commitment.

Another way is to have him decide which way things go. She could say:
"I'll give you two options. If you really need to then you can take your underpants off, and I'll watch you make yourself cum. BUT, if you do this then this is the last time we have fun together. But if you really want to explore this dynamic with me further, and I really hope that you do, then promise me again that you accept that you won't ejaculate with me."

Giving him this choice means that she doesn't' have to act or feel dominant/assertive. It also resolves whether or not he is going to remain her Knight. If he takes short term pleasure over future activity then he wouldn't have made a good Knight. But if he recommits to not ejaculating when with you this proves his commitment to be her Knight and so it will start to become normal for you both that he doesn't ejaculate.

As the comment above said, once he has got used to his role he will be a very happy and eager Knight. What fun for both!