Chapter 8 - Kali

I flop down in the chair next to Sarah in the staff room. What a morning, thank god it’s lunchtime and a break from work.

‘You look terrible. Bad day?’ Sarah asks.

‘I don’t know what to do. My relationship with Adam is really not going well.’ I have to confide in someone, I think I’ll go mad if I don’t. ‘I tried to talk to him and succeeded in making everything worse.’

‘What did you say?’

‘I said we should be making love more often.’

‘And he didn’t like that idea?’

‘Well he did, but then turned it round and made it all my fault.’ I feel the color drain from my face as I relive that horrific moment.

‘What’s all your fault?’

‘That we only have sex occasionally, but his view is for me to just let him have what he wants and then go to sleep.’ I have to pause to fight back tears, ‘My views, my needs don’t matter. If he cums he’s happy. If I don’t cum it doesn’t matter... apparently.’

‘So you lie back, he jumps on top, pounds away, ejaculates, rolls over and falls asleep. You lie there wanting more but nothing happens.’ Sarah hits the nail on the head.

‘Yeah. No concern for what I want or need.’ I eat a mouthful of lunch, ‘He used to, at least he used to ask, but I guess that was only true in the early days when we were dating. We’ve settled into a routine. And it’s not a great one. There’s no intimacy.’

‘If we were talking seven years ago I would be saying much the same thing to you. We could share notes about the lack of intimacy and romance, that sex was functional and basically for his benefit.’ Sarah’s words confuse me, she has always given the impression of an amazing relationship.

She continues, ‘But then just over six years ago Will made a suggestion and after thinking about it and some convincing from him we made a change.’

‘Really, is that why you now have a fabulous husband?’ Her words intriguing me.

‘He is so much more affectionate both in bed and in general. Our sex life has gone through the roof. The intimacy is amazing.’ Sarah eyes are glinting as she is speaking.

‘Tell me more.’ I want to know more, how has their love life changed? What was Will’s suggestion? Is there still hope for Adam and I?

‘I can’t really tell you much but we are so much more devoted to each other. We started to focus so much more on each other. Rather than me seeking what I want or Will focusing on what he wants, we look to see what the other might want.’ That sounds simple enough, I listen with growing interest, ‘And in case you think that means we don’t get what we each want you’d be wrong. I give Will what he wants and get what I want. Everybody wins.’

‘What was his suggestion?’

‘That, I’m afraid I can’t reveal, it’s a private matter. What I would say is you both need to put time and effort into the relationship.’ Sarah had said this before, but what does she mean, there has to be some specifics.

‘Can we turn our relationship around?’ I hear these words coming out of my mouth, shit, I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I blush.

‘I don’t know. That’s a question for you and Adam to answer.’ Sarah cuts off my thoughts, ‘All I can say is that Will and I were in much the same position and we managed to transform our marriage.’

There are so many things to process and think about, but if she’s not going to go into details then I guess there’s not much hope. I so want things to change...