How Devotional Sex is very different from
most other sex advice:

In each case, for those that like the idea, there are clear benefits - what they tell you works.

For example, a typical promotion for a couple's massage class is:

 
 

Such a class would be great for learning how to massage, and the benefits are true.
 
 
Reading the publicity has you imagine a possible future - wow, a partner always able to soothe my weary body.

Attending the class will inspire you even more. So at the end you are very likely to feel very enthusiastic about giving and receiving massages. If a survey is taken at the end of the course you are likely to rate it highly (giving encouragement to others to do the course).

In the week or month immediately afterwards you might give each other a few massages and they are likely to go well. But what happens once the initial enthusiasm wears off and normal life kicks back in?

If she has had a stressful day what is the chance of him giving her a foot massage in the early evening? If she would like a back or body massage to relax her before she goes to sleep at night is this likely to happen?

A few couples may keep massaging each other. But for most, even after having done the massage course, she is unlikely to get the stress relief and relaxation which she would love.

Lots of other sex and relationship advice is similar. It generates high enthusiasm - you think it will change your life for the better - but for most couples the enthusiasm fades and you soon revert back to what you used to do.
 
 
An analogy is to think of each bit of sex and relationship advice as being like a beautiful painting.

The 'massage painting' is held up for you to admire at the course, and you would like to keep looking at it when you get it back home. But when you get home there is nowhere to hang it. So even though you like the painting you lean it against a wall where it won't get in the way.

At first you have enough enthusiasm to sometimes get the painting out again and you both enjoy looking at it. But then it gets put back out of the way. And eventually the painting is rarely or never taken out again.

As you get inspired by other paintings (ie read more books or do other courses and workshops) there is again nowhere to hang these paintings, and you end up with a pile of paintings stacked out of the way.

Those selling paintings do well. But the paintings are not improving your life the way you had hoped.
 
If you look at the definition of Devotional Sex it is clear that this doesn't tell you what activities to do, how to do them, or for how long or how often. For example, there is no mention of massage in the definition. It also doesn't tell you to change how you think and feel.

So if the activities and how you think and feel are like paintings, there is no 'Devotional Sex painting'.

Instead Devotional Sex is like a wall with lots of hooks - the 'Devotional Sex wall'. Each Princess decides which paintings will be hung on this wall to enhance her life and the life of her Knight.

Devotional Sex is the lifestyle which happens for as long as this wall is in place (which may be for just a weekend, or for a week, month, or always).

So Devotional Sex isn't just looking at a painting together (ie doing an activity). It is having your own gallery of paintings from which a Princess can select a painting to look at with her Knight whenever she wishes, and which her Knight looks at hoping that his Princess will select one soon.

There are many paintings which look so good on this wall that most Devotee hang these up. The 'him giving her a massage painting' is one such painting.

But there isn't a painting which every Devotee couple hang up (eg there are some Devotee couples who don't ever have him give her a massage).
 
 
So most other sex and relationship advice is how to do activities or how to think, and Devotional Sex is a lifestyle within which lots of these things just happen (without having to do a workshop) and this lifestyle maintains enthusiasm.

Even though massage isn't in the definition, him giving her a massage is something that many Devotee couples enjoy as one of their activities.

Devotional Sex also maintains enthusiasm. In fact there are couples who have been practicing Devotional Sex for many years and he is still massaging her for an hour, two hours, or even longer every week!

 
Let's once again consider massage. You don't need to do a course to have this be a possibility.

If a Princess would like a foot massage early in the evening, or a back rub before going to sleep at night, the definition says she can use the control her Knight has given her to enhance her life and ask him to do this. The definition also says that her Knight will fulfill all her sexual and sensual wishes and so he should do as she wishes.

But Devotional Sex isn't a selfish dominant woman enjoying life at his expense. A Princess also has to ensure that her Knight is equally happy.

With Devotional Sex she only asks for the massage because she knows her Knight will be happy to do this. Because he is happy to fulfill her wish she doesn't need to act or feel dominant and she isn't being selfish.
 
 
So how can him committing to be her Knight make him happy to give her a massage whenever she wishes?

The answer is that though the definition doesn't talk about him thinking and feeling differently, him committing to be her Knight leads most men to some very significant changes.

Him not ejaculating often increases and maintains him having enough erotic energy to always be eager for sexual activity. But having given her control he knows that this will only happen when his Princess wishes. Pleasing her by relieving her stress and relaxing her makes it more likely that something sexual will happen, be it either immediately after the massage or at some future session.

Devotional Sex isn't that he gives her a massage and in return she gives him some sex. He needs to relax and please her so that she becomes keen to enjoy something sexual with him. This means that he can't just give her a mechanical massage without sensitivity as this is unlikely to please her. To please her he has to tune in to how she is feeling so that he can massage her better and that she feels that he cares for her.

But his willingness to give her a massage isn't just a selfish way for him to get some sexual activity. One of the key changes which arises from him being her Knight is that he starts to enjoy the connection and intimacy which happens when he pays attention to how she is feeling. So the connection isn't just him trying to please her but him also enjoying feeling connected to her as well.

Devotional Sex then gives his feelings of intimacy a turbo charge. With his high erotic energy and him knowing that something sexual might follow, a Knight is likely to feel aroused while giving her a massage and may even be fully erect. This isn't sexual activity for him, but it is using his erotic energy and he enjoys desiring his Princess as he massages her.

Most Knights come to enjoy this erotic intimacy so much that when no sexual activity follows they feel pleased that instead of nothing happening they got to enjoys some powerful erotic intimacy.
 
 
 
Devotional Sex changes how he thinks and feels so much that he may sometimes ask his Princess if she would like a massage - not just to please her, but because he would like to do this.

 
Devotional Sex also sets up the dynamic where she can enjoy receiving a massage as purely a relaxing sensual pleasure even though her Knight is erect and clearly eager for more to follow.

She knows that though he is eager for sexual activity that this is not expected. And she doesn't feel she is denying him sexual activity because they enjoy enough sexual activity for him to be very happy overall.
 
Devotional Sex also makes it easy for her to show her appreciation of him giving her sensual pleasures by 'sexing it up' a bit for her Knight without her having to go as far as sexual activity.

For example, if she just wants a relaxing foot massage she can make him feel more hers by having him be naked as he does this. And after a relaxing body or back rub before sleep she can reward her Knight with a Devotional Cuddle - enjoying his energy and the fact that though he is aroused he is willing to wait until another time for something sexual.
 
 
Of course, even if it wasn't planned at first, she may start to get aroused during a massage and then the massage will lead to more.

And if when going to bed she would like an orgasm from her eager Knight giving her oral sex, she can start off by having him give her a massage, with him being rewarded by the sexual activity once she has had enough of being massaged.
 
 
All the other activities which a Devotee couple enjoy arise from similar changes in how each think and feel about sexual activity, intimacy and affection.

And though this leads to both having a much more pleasurable sex life, and many more orgasms for her, for most Princesses and most Knights it is the increase in intimacy and connection which they feel is their biggest benefit arising from Devotional Sex.

 
The answer is both yes and no.

For most things the dynamic set up by Devotional Sex is one where the couple work out what works best for them.

For example, this website doesn't tell a Knight how to give a better massage. But the dynamic has him wanting to please his Princess when he gives her a massage. The dynamic also has a Princess who becomes used to letting her Knight know what she likes.

So the first time he massages her it may not be a very good massage, but she will let him know a few ways he can do it better. She keeps letting him know how to improve until the point is reached where he will be doing it just the way she wishes without her having to saying anything (unless she wants something a bit different from usual).

So a massage course, or reading a book on how to give a massage, isn't needed for his massaging to become pretty good.
 
 
The reason other sex advice is still likely to still be of benefit is that there are probably a few new things which each couple have not discovered themselves.

So if a Princess likes to receive lots of massages I think it is a great idea for either her to ask her Knight to read a good book on massage, or for him to do this on his own initiative.

Similarly for any Devotee couple wanting to take any activity a bit further, reading a book or attending a course is likely to make a positive difference.

 
Discussion, questions, and feedback on how to improve this page, are all very welcome in this topic on my forum.