The
Princess
Her
Managing His Ejaculations
With a Beginner Spell
you are both agreeing to practice Devotional Sex for a specified length
of time and the Spell ends when she has him ejaculate at this time.
As well as giving him certainty for what he is 'signing up for', the
Beginner Spells means that you both know that every session during the
Spell (other than the final session) will end without him ejaculating.
S0, for example, if a couple agree to have a Devotional
Weekend, then both know that he doesn't Climax until Sunday evening
(she decides how and exactly when on Sunday night).
Once this feels like your Devotional Sex normal, and ending a Session
without him ejaculating doesn't have him feeling denied by her or her
feeling that she is denying him, it becomes easy to move up to doing
the Experienced Spells. With these Spells he
gives her control over when (ie which day) he will Climax.
This section looks at how she manages his Climaxes when he has given
her this control.
The
base - his desired average
Devotional Sex
isn't about her
denying him ejaculations - it is him committing to far fewer
ejaculations because he wants to be her Knight.
My recommendation for an experienced forty year old Knight is that he, on
average, lasts seven days.
Remember that individual
differences apply and a Knight
might prefer his average be lower or higher than what I recommend.
His preferred average should be the base (ie starting point) for managing
how often he Climaxes.
She
takes into account how he feels
If
his preferred average is once every seven days there there are likely to be times
when he will feel that he would like to go a little longer and times
when he would like to Climax a bit earlier than usual.
If she can't tell how he is feeling she can just ask, eg "Would you
like release tonight?"
As one of the four commitments for a Knight in the Definition
of Devotional Sex is that he openly and honestly communicates with his
Princess, there is nothing wrong with him telling her how he feels and
saying when he would like to Climax.
There is nothing
wrong with her allowing him release most times he requests it.
The rest of this page and the following page explains why she may
wish to vary from his preference.
When
he REALLY wants release
Though a Knight usually has fairly
good control of his energy there can be times, even for an experienced
Knight, when he feels he really wants
release. Not only can this happen when he is lasting longer than his
average, it can happen before he reaches his average.
Even if she usually allows him release when he asks for it, it can work
well for her to sometimes not allow him release when he really wants
it. This isn't about her denying him, rather it is her challenging him.
For him not to feel denied he will need a Devotional Cuddle until his energy
eventually falls to a more normal level.
Having him meet this challenge is
very good for a Princess as it confirms that he really has given her
control. She can feel his very high energy as she holds his erection,
and so she can feel that this really is challenging for him. That he is
willing to meet this challenge for her means that she can feel
confident that her control is just as real during all the other times
she wants to have something happen or to end an activity.
Another benefit is that if he has a fantasy that he would love to do
but she doesn't want to this to happen, her feeling this much in
control allows her to feel relaxed about his fantasy because him
accepting that he won't ejaculate when he really wants to proves that
he really will do as she wishes.
He has to work hard to control his
energy and direct it to intimacy and connection. So for him this is
both a time of feeling powerful intimacy and connection and feeling
that her control is very real.
Having her control feel so powerfully
real also helps him be a better Knight because it then feels more
natural and less challenging to fulfill all her other, easier, wishes.
Note that if he really wants release
one night and he doesn't get it, the next day his energy is likely to
return to a more normal level, and he may even prefer not to Climax the
next night.
Him meeting this challenge is not only good for strengthening
the Devotional Dynamic, but is good exercise for him learning to
control his own
erotic energy.
When
he NEEDS release
There may be times when he has a
physical problem (illness, aching balls, etc) or an emotional problem
(eg work stress) and he knows that releasing his energy will help him
cope with rest-of-life issues.
Devotional Sex is fully consensual, and part of that is that if he says
he NEEDS something then it should happen.
Him 'really wanting' release is him in Knight mode. Saying he Needs
something is stepping above being her Knight to taking care of his
overall well-being.
Managing
his energy to match how she feels
The main reason that Devotional Sex
gives the Princess control over when he Climaxes is so that she can set
his energy as she wishes.
Her
being able to turn his energy off
If his desired average is seven days, and
on Saturday morning
it is day five, he is probably hoping for a sexy weekend which will use
his building energy. But if this Saturday morning she feels that she
really wants a rest from his energy and she doesn't want a sexy
weekend,
then she can have him Climax on Saturday morning.
Though he misses out on the sexy weekend he had hoped for, he also
avoids having high energy but being disappointed that not much is done
with this.
And not only does she avoid having him charged up when she
doesn't want this, having him Climax when he would prefer not to proves
to both that her control is very real.
Her
being able to keep his energy building
Alternatively, if his average is seven
days, and on Friday night he has
gone eight days, and if she feels it would be fun to have him very
energized all
weekend, she can keep him going until Sunday night and so this Season
will lasts for ten days.
Though it may be challenging for him to last this long, because she
is enjoying his energy and she will have some activities happen which
celebrate his energy, he is, overall, very likely to enjoy this charged up weekend.
Planning
his energy for the start of the next Season
When Devotional Sex is going to
continue after he Climaxes she should remember that one side effect of
him lasting much longer than usual is that his recovery time after an
ejaculation may be a longer than normal.
For example, if she has him Climax on Sunday morning, he may still not
have
regained much energy by Sunday evening.
So if she thinks she might want
an eager Knight that evening, it works best to not have him Climax in
the morning.
If she has him Climax in the evening then he has the whole night to
recover. But when he wakes up he probably won't have his usual energy.
If she wants to have a bit of a rest from his energy at the start of
the
Season then if nothing (other than a cuddle) happens in the morning his
energy won't be fired up.
But if she
wants his energy to start to build then some Desire
Play, or any other activity, will get him hard
and he will get out of bed energized and once again feeling like her
Knight.
The next
page looks at:
- including lots of variation
- having a different average
than his preference
(inc. having him last for longer
than he prefers), and
- not letting him know her plans
(but there are some fun exceptions)
Page
last
updated: 1 October
'18
Copyright
© MichaelK 2017-18