On page one we looked at how Devotional Sex has:


This is likely to lead to a very unbalanced sex life, with, for example, you receiving much more oral sex from him than you give him, and you having many more orgasms than him.

 
Devotional Sex doesn't aim for balance in orgasms or activities, but aims to enhance happiness for both and to have both equally happy.

Thus the second of the four points which you commit to when practicing Devotional Sex is:

• You commit to enhancing HIS sexual and intimate life
             so that he is equally happy.

This takes sex beyond just being consensual to sex being about mutual happiness. This is achieved by your using the control he has given you to both enhance your happiness and to do your best to keep him equally happy.

In practice keeping him equally happy can be very easy because any activity which has him erect is something that he is likely to enjoy.

If there is something you used to sometimes consent to that you didn't like then that can be something that never happens within your Devotional Sex life.

Having something happen mainly to please your partner can still happen - but the feel is very different because you are deciding what this will be, when it happens, how it is done, and for how long. And as you will only chose things that you don't mind doing you can gain happiness from pleasing your partner.

It's the same for what you have your Knight do. Keeping him happy means that you shouldn't ask him to do things that he really doesn't like, but that it is fine to sometimes have him do something he doesn't mind doing when him doing so makes you happy.

So Devotional Sex has this name not just because he is devoted to you, but because you are also devoted to him.
 
 
To make it much easier to keep your commitment to keep him equally happy one of his four commitments when he is your Knight is that:

• He commits to openly and honestly communicate with you on all aspects of this lifestyle.
  

Part of his vulnerability of being your Knight is that he no longer has any sexual secrets and must honestly tell you what he likes and what he doesn't like and, if you wish, his sexual fantasies.

His fantasies are no longer threatening because he has given you control of what happens you can decide that some things will never happen.

Of course it is good to tell him when you like something that you are doing. But rather than tell him your fantasies you find out how he feels about doing things you think you might like. You then have the freedom to explore any of your fantasies which are within what he is willing to do.

Even if it is your partner who is most keen to explore Devotional Sex, he will need your help to learn to manage his energy. Thus him communicating honestly is very important when starting to explore Devotional Sex.

 
 
How you use the control he has given you to enhance your happiness depends on what you enjoy.

The previous page shows the huge variation in sexual activity - so I'll leave it to you to explore what works best for you.
 
 
Perhaps unsurprisingly men are much more simple. The key to mutual happiness within Devotional Sex is your understanding how to keep your partner equally happy, and the answer is the same for most men who do Devotional Sex.

One obvious way to keep him happy is to engage in some sexual activity.

In her Devotional Sex diary Jill wrote that:


It's easy to see how this was wonderful for Jill. But how could this make Tom not only happy, but equally happy?

Devotional Sex works because it significantly changes how he thinks and feels about sex. And it's these changes that lead to most of the rewards for both you and your partner.

The next page, page 3, shows why engaging in any sexual activity, even something that traditionally is thought of as being mainly about her pleasure, always makes a Knight very happy.

But key to keeping him happy is what happens immediately after sexual activity ends. Page 4 shows how your doing one simple thing not only enables him to deal with his energy but also generates most of the intimacy and connection enjoyed by Devotees.

And Devotional Sex isn't just about sex and immediately after sex because lots of erotically charged intimacy and connection is enjoyed in between your sessions of sex, and this is covered on page 5.

But first, lets look at how Devotional Sex makes sexual activity better for you both ...