Chapter 31 - Sarah

Kali puts our drinks down on the table. It’s a girls' night out so time to relax without the men.

We’ve not been able to catch up with each other for a long time and I want to know how things are going with her and Adam.

‘Cheers. Thanks for the first round,’ I say looking forward to our evening together. ‘How’s life?’

‘Not bad. Work is going pretty well. Tracey is doing well at school. How about you?’

‘I’m doing fine. Work is challenging at the moment. Kids are good, living their own lives, really grown up now. Will is good. You didn’t mention Adam. Are things going well there or not?’

Kali takes a sip of her drink. I watch as she constructs her answer.

‘OK I guess. You have a much better deal than I do.’

I smile as I consider how great things are with Will. ‘Yes, I do. But I didn’t always. We’ve had to work on things.’

‘Come on, you and Will don't need to work at your relationship. It all seems so effortless.’

‘Spending time together as a couple is important. Talking to each other, honest communication makes a massive difference.’

‘Adam doesn’t do talking. I’m not sure Adam knows how to do emotions.’ Kali takes another sip of her drink. ‘Well except anger.’

‘Oh give him a break. You’ve been doing better recently haven’t you? He’s trying, or at least he’s tried some of the time.’

‘Yes. I guess I should give him some credit. I have introduced the idea of Devotional Sex to him and he hasn’t completely rejected it. He hasn’t embraced it either. I don’t think he understands it yet.’

‘Expecting most men to accept the idea straightaway is unrealistic, so don’t be too hard on Adam.’

I finish my drink. ‘You want a refill?’

Kali finishes the last of her glass and passes it to me. I go to the bar and order more drinks.
 
 
I sense a difference in Kali when I return. She looks resolute.

‘You’re right,' she says, 'I love Adam and I want to make it work with us, for me, for him and also for Tracey. Tell me how you started. You didn’t always do Devotional Sex did you?’

‘No we didn’t always do Devotional Sex. Will made the suggestion a bit over six years ago.’

‘How? What did he say, ask? What was your reaction? I want to know everything.’ She bombards me with question after question. ‘Please,’ she adds.

I have a drink to steel myself before launching into answering some of her questions. ‘It’s a long story,’ I say.

Kali picks up her drink, adjusts her position into a more comfortable one. ‘I have all evening. More if needed.’

‘I need to get home tonight’ I say chuckling at Kali’s enthusiasm. ‘Will is working too hard at present, I have to make sure he is having enough fun to balance things out.’

‘He’ll wait, he’s a very excellent knight.’

‘He is, but let’s get on with the story. His opening was that our sex life for the past ten years had all been about him, about his needs, his wants, his desires, his orgasm. I wasn’t entirely sure what to think at the time, but I guess we had sex mostly because he wanted to and it finished with his orgasm.'

I have another sip of my drink and continue. ‘He said I don’t want to cum as often. Puzzled I asked why. So that I can get an erection easily and am ready every time you want some fun. I couldn’t recall Will having a problem with obtaining an erection and said so. He went on to tell me how much he liked being aroused, that not cuming would help him to remain aroused for longer.’

‘Adam wants satisfaction more than being aroused,’ Kali says.

'Like most men.' I agree. 'I had no idea how to respond to Will. Wanting to give him what he wants on the one hand and feeling a bit weird by his not wanting to cum as often. I spent some time in silence as I tried to process some of this. I countered his proposal that if he didn’t cum and was constantly aroused then he would constantly want sex. I wasn’t going to be happy if he was constantly pestering me for sex.’

‘What was his reaction to that?’ asks Kali.

‘He had his answer ready. He told me that he would control his energy, that I had the option, always had the option to say no to anything I didn’t want to do. I was a long way from being convinced, it sounded too good to be true. I suspect my face betrayed my doubts and the conversation ended. I guess I thought about it subconsciously over the next few days until Will raised it again, asking if I’d had any thoughts about his proposal.’

‘Had you? Had he convinced you?’

‘I didn’t get to answer that directly as he began by saying that he would like to have sex with me every day. It was such an unexpected statement I was left speechless for a minute. This gave him the chance to add some detail to his statement. He said he would like sex with me at least once a day, we might have a cuddle, we might kiss, we could hold hands more when we are out, we might have a massage, we might touch genitals, we might have intercourse, there are lots of things which count as having sex.'

'Again I didn’t know what to say. If we started with the things at the top of his list would we always move through the list to the end? Men think with their penis. This sounded like a way of trying to get me to have more sex, something we both knew he has always wanted.’

‘If only men were less genital focused I think many more women would be happier.’ Kali says.

‘Indeed. His response was that I could start anything I wanted, whenever I wanted and end things whenever I wanted. I admit that I was less than convinced he would follow through with that. If we did something, maybe some kissing, he would get aroused and then if I stopped the kissing he would be very grumpy and want to cum. This had the potential of both of us getting annoyed with the other.’

‘So you told him no?’

‘Not exactly. I didn’t give him an answer, really I just hoped it would go away. Our love life was fine. He would always like to have more sex, I was basically happy where we were. It was a bit routine, but not so routine you could predict what, when and where, but it tended to follow a pattern of him doing something to get me in the mood, a bit of foreplay and then intercourse.’

‘Much the same for us except Adam usually doesn’t have much of a clue as to how to get me aroused.’

‘Will wasn’t always successful and sometimes I would initiate things. The point is that I was not unhappy with how things were and I had serious doubts about what he was suggesting. I put a scenario before him. If you give me an orgasm with your mouth we can then go to sleep, you won’t want to have intercourse? His reply was not out of character but it was still hard for me to believe, he said that he wished that would become a regular scenario, he likes eating me and would consider it an honor to fully satisfy me with just his mouth.

‘I had to admit as we discussed things he certainly seemed to be sincere. Maybe, just maybe, there was something in this. However, there was a serious issue I was not happy with. I asked when he would cum. His response was that it was my decision. That was not my thing at all.’

Kali laughs, ‘I haven’t known you that long, but you are clearly not the type to start wearing leather and thigh high boots and using a riding crop.’

‘Exactly. I thought that this is what he wanted. He said that my deciding what things we did sexually and when each activity finished was about me being able to relax and not have the pressure to please him all the time.'

'Will then gave an example of what he meant. He pointed out that our usual was that if he felt like sex he would try to start some activity. If I was tired or not in the mood I would either give in even though I didn't feel like it or push him away physically, verbally, or both. I nodded.'

'He then repainted the picture. He said that when I wasn't in the mood, even if he was fully aroused it was OK to just have a cuddle, and he would enjoy just the cuddle. He added that he would enjoy me playing with his erection even if this went no further, but whether or not that happened was up to me. He said that though there would be a big sexual component to the cuddle for him, we would both be enjoying the intimacy. He added that when I wanted to go to sleep I would just say so, and all activity would end.'

'This sounded infinitely better than what I feared he was asking for and it actually sounded very romantic. But I still thought that if I started to play with his erection Will would expect me to finish the job.'

'Adam always expects me to finish anything I start,' adds Kali.

'Will hadn't convinced me that this wasn't just a way of getting more sex, so I ended our conversation by telling Will I would think about it. Will thought that he had made progress in convincing me, so when I brushed him off he looked crushed.'

'So about six years ago when Will first told me about Devotional Sex I didn't believe that it would work.'

‘And that’s where your story ends,' says Kali. 'And so you never discover the delights of Devotional Sex. What a shame! You don’t know what you are missing.’ We both laugh at the thought.
 
 
‘I need another drink,’ I say as I get up. ‘Same again?’

‘Yes please.’

We sit for a few minutes enjoying our fresh drinks, then I return to the story.

‘After brushing off Will, neither of us mentioned his proposal for about two weeks. Life went on and our love life carried on in the same way as before. Then, out of nowhere, Will raised the subject once again. He’d clearly been thinking and planning.'

'He told me that the name of what he had suggested before was Devotional Sex, and that it has this name because he is devoted to her and she to him. He said this is powered by the man not ejaculating as often as usual, and that this means that whenever she asks him to do something sexual he is eager and so she doesn't have to act or feel dominant to have things happen.'

'It is a challenge to understand that a princess isn't domineering isn't it.' Kali says.

'Yes. He raved about Devotional Sex but I really had no idea where to go from this point. I had the choice to refuse or ignore his suggestion but I had the suspicion that this would not go away. So I decided to call his bluff. I asked him to tell me more about this and if he could convince me we’d give it a go.’

'He asked if I wanted to look at the website, which I didn't fancy doing. He laid out a lot of information. It wasn’t a polished plan that would be perfect from day one, something which gave me hope that this was a realistic plan and not just a fantasy. There was a lot of work for him, assuming he had given me all the right concepts. I asked him why he wanted to engage in something that sounded like a lot of work for him. His reply was quite sweet really, that he felt things could be better for us, so he was willing to put in the effort. He wanted to know if he had convinced me to give it a try.'

'What was your answer?'

'I still had issues - I did make it difficult for him - I liked it when he ejaculated, and I would feel that I hadn't done my job if he didn't cum. Again he had an answer, that I didn't always want him to give me an orgasm and would enjoy the sexual activity without it, and he just wants the same - to enjoy sexual activity without always having to cum.

'I still wasn't sure. So Will continued his explanation and told me that him not ejaculating at the end of sex means that rather than sex being about reaching this endpoint it changed to be about the journey of what we did together. And he said that once sexual activity ended, as he would still be aroused the cuddle afterwards would become an important part of what happened.'

'So was this what finally convinced you to give it a try? asked Kali.

'He hadn't convinced me that it would work,' I replied, 'but he had convinced me to give it a go. He suggested we try Devotional Sex for a weekend, and that was our first taste of Devotional Sex. One thing I learned was that it's best to jump in and try it, as it all starts to make sense when you do.'

‘How did the weekend go?' asked Kali. 'Obviously it worked, because six years later you are living Devotional Sex.’

'It went very well' I reply with a big smile.

After so much talk about my history I need to change the subject, and so we finish our girl's night out with some small talk.