Most writing and scientific study of sex assumes that normal sex is, well, normal. So most of what we know about female sexuality is what happens in a normal male / female relationship.

This page first looks at normal sexual behavior, then how Devotional Sex enables this experiment to be conducted, and finally I present the surprising results.

 
Though there is lots of variation in what couples do, there are valid scientific studies which provide a fairly accurate view of how most heterosexual couples have sex.

For example the Sex in Australia 2 study found that at the respondent's most recent sexual encounter:

• 94% had vaginal intercourse,
• 73% had the man manually stimulate the woman,
• 70% had the woman manual stimulate the man,
• 23% had her receiving oral sex,
• 24% had him receiving oral sex,
• less than 1% had anal intercourse,
  
• 66% of the women had an orgasm, and
  
• 92% of the men had an orgasm.

And how often do couples have sex? For those in a regular relationship the average is 1.4 times per week.

Another study found that the median length of time for intercourse was 5.4 minutes (so half the couples in the study did it for this time or less, and half this time or longer).

And this scientific paper found that the couples spent an average of 12 minutes on foreplay and 7 minutes with intercourse. But as the average is made higher because of the few who have sex for much longer than most, most couples are spending less time on these activities than the average.

Thus for many couples it's all over in under 10 minutes.
 
 
With normal sex there is usually the expectation that if she acknowledges or encourages his arousal then this should lead to foreplay, intercourse, and his ejaculation.

So his arousal is enjoyed by her when she feels like having a normal sessions of sex. But if she doesn't feel like intercourse (or giving him 'relief' some other way) she is most likely to either ignore his arousal or reject his advance.
 
 
There are some couples who always or usually have a cuddle in bed those mornings and bedtimes when they don't have sex.

But probably over half of established coupes either never or rarely have a cuddle those mornings and bedtimes they don't have sex.

 
When a loving couple practice Devotional Sex they both get used to it being normal for her to decide:

• when some sexual activity will happen,
• what activities happen (and thus what doesn't happen),
• how each activity is done (eg hard and fast or slow and sensual), and
  
• when any activity and the session will end.
  

With Devotional Sex he commits to not ejaculating nearly as often, and so he expects most sessions to end without him ejaculating. As he has committed to do this she doesn't need to act or feel dominant if she ends activities with him still wanting more. Instead his energy builds so that he is always eager for sexual activity - any activity!

Without the expectation that starting activity will lead to his ejaculation it becomes very easy for her to start and end sessions whenever she wishes. And as he is eager for any activity, it becomes easy for her to move away from the normal few minutes of foreplay followed by a few minutes of intercourse.

This experiment can't get couples to do Devotional Sex just to see what happens. But we can survey the couples who already do Devotional Sex to see what, if anything, has changed.

 
 
One possibility is that she decides that their Devotional Sex life will be very similar to their sex life before Devotional Sex. So most sessions would still be a few minutes of foreplay followed by a few minutes of intercourse, and these sessions will happen about as often as before.

There could be minor variations on this with her tweaking what foreplay happens and making small changes to the time spent with the length of foreplay and intercourse, and these sessions could happen a little less often or a little more often than before.

But even if there are slight changes, if this is what happens this would prove that normal sex is a fairly good match to natural female desire.
 
 
The Devotional Sex experiment makes it very easy for her to enjoy a sex life very different from normal.

If this is what happens then it would not only show that normal sex isn't a good match for her desires, but by finding out what happens we will discover what better matches her natural desire.

 
 
I don't know how many couples are practicing Devotional Sex, but hundreds have filled in my surveys asking them about what they do.

So what do they all do?

 
The first thing the results show is that there is huge variation in what women like.

 
 

But, as with studying normal sex, there are clear trends that apply to most couples who have taken part in this experiment:

The number of sessions each week increases significantly:


The frequency of intercourse stays about the same:


Most sessions are 'just foreplay'


The longest session of a week becomes much longer:


She loves receiving oral sex:

• Most women choose to receive oral sex much more often than they have intercourse, and much more than they have their partner using his hand to pleasure them, and
   
  
• most like to receive oral sex for at least 15 minutes (many like it to be 30 minutes or longer).
  

She enjoys more orgasms:

 
Pleasuring him:

   
Without the constraints of normal sex her natural desire is to receive sexual pleasure much more than happens within normal sex. This strongly suggests that the constraints of normal sex significantly dampens natural female desire.

 
With Devotional Sex her partner is often aroused just by going to bed or waking up with her. (It's because he is always eager she is able to enjoy receiving sexual pleasures whenever she wishes.) This means he is always keen for a cuddle, but he is likely to get erect if he does cuddle her.

If she wished she could use her control to only allow cuddles as often as before or less than before.

But she can also enjoy a cuddle and feel relaxed cuddling him because nothing further will happen unless she wishes.

So what happens?
 
 
Almost all the women decide to enjoy lots of cuddles and they enjoy him desiring her as part of the cuddle.

During these cuddles she can just enjoy his energy and ignore his erection. But as acknowledging and enjoying his arousal doesn't mean things will go any further, most couples enjoy many cuddles each week where she holds his erection as they cuddle. Many couples spend as much time enjoying these erotic cuddles as they do engaging in sexual activity.

The erotic cuddles build and maintain intimacy and connection. Even most women who enjoy one or more orgasms a day say that their biggest benefit of Devotional Sex is this increased intimacy and connection and thus a better relationship. So erotic intimacy is a key part of natural female desire.
 
 
Her deciding what happens also applies outside of the bedroom. As she often enjoys having him desire her in the bedroom, most women decide to also spend some time together each week where she has him be naked while she remains dressed. During this time she enjoys seeing the rise and fall of his desire for her.

So clearly many women love looking at a naked man who desires them when enjoying this no longer has expectations that sexual activity will immediately follow.
 
 
Even though the experiment finds that the amount of sexual activity increases significantly, most women love being desired so much that more time is spend with erotic cuddles in bed and having him naked and aroused outside the bedroom than is spent on sexual activities.

So a key part of natural female desire is enjoying being desired by their partner.
 
These results show that what happens in normal sex is not a good match to natural female desire.

If she has a partner who is always eager to fulfill her wishes the amount of intercourse stays about the same, but the amount of other sexual activity increases significantly, and she enjoys many more orgasms.

She also enjoys being desired by her partner during lots of erotic cuddles and seeing his arousal outside of the bedroom.

Freed from the constraints and expectations of 'normal sex', natural female desire blooms.

 
My online surveys take some time and effort to fill in, and so I feel confident that the thrust of these results are accurate for those couples who practice Devotional Sex.

But are these results valid for women in general?

There is nothing about Devotional Sex which says that things will change the way they have. Devotional Sex only enables these changes. If this wasn't what she enjoyed then things would have stayed much the same.

Though the extent of the changes is likely to be greater with those now doing Devotional Sex than for women in general, I believe that most women would move in the same direction as these results if the constraints of normal sex were removed.

Thus natural female desire is in fact very different from what standard sex research shows.
 
I welcome any comments or questions about this page here at my forum.