Intimacy and Affection

The stereotype is that she wants intimacy and affection and he wants sex.

My page on Natural Female Desire shows that if sexual activity can be done the way she prefers then many women choose to enjoy a huge increase in sexual activity. So the stereotype that women don't want sex is wrong.

But what about intimacy and affection? The surveys which have been filled in by couples who practice Devotional Sex provide some answers.

For those who practice Devotional Sex

• about 60% of women say that their BIGGEST benefit is the increase in intimacy and connection and thus a better relationship.

That there is some truth in the stereotype is proven by it being only

• about 30% of men who say that the increase in intimacy is their biggest benefit.

But the figures for intimacy and affection hide the bigger picture because most of those who didn't rate the increase in intimacy and connection as their biggest benefit still see the increase in intimacy as a major benefit.

 
 
When practicing Devotional Sex there are three times when intimacy and affection have a big impact:

• Affection during sexual activity,
  
  
• Erotic Intimacy - which is when he is aroused but there isn't sexual activity, and
  
  
• Romantic Affection - affection when he isn't aroused.

Let's look at these in reverse order:

 
Devotional Sex has a Knight always feeling some background erotic energy which gives his life zest. (In fact just under 20% of Knights enjoy this so much that they choose this as their the biggest benefit benefit).

This background energy keeps him thinking of his Princess in the same way as happens when first falling in love. This leads to an increase in romantic affection with Devotee couples spending much more time than before holding hands, kissing, cuddling outside of the bedroom, and affectionate touches.

Romantic affection also includes those times when he isn't erect and they are cuddling in bed or he is giving her a massage. And even though they are not touching, when he isn't erect during Affirmation (spending time together with him naked and her dressed) the shared feeling that he is her devoted Knight is a form of visual romantic affection.

A Princess can use the control he has given her to manage all of this. So if he is getting too affectionate she can cool things down, and if she would like a bit more affection she lets him know.

Some couples feel that they get enough physical affection and intimacy from just cuddling in bed, and so with them the intimacy and attraction will be mainly just looks and a feel. But most Devotee couples enjoy hours of romantic affection each week. And most say that this is a significant or very significant improvement to their relationship

 
Erotic intimacy is intimacy and affection felt while he is aroused and erect but no sexual activity is happening.

Though the Knight is of course aroused, his Princess can be anywhere from highly aroused herself to not aroused but just enjoying the erotic intimacy which arises from his arousal.

The French Philosopher Madame de Stael said, around 1800, that:


Devotional Sex enables a Princess to often enjoy her Knight desiring her - as proven by his erection - but without this being expected to lead to sexual activity.

The most connected and powerful erotic intimacy is a Devotional Cuddle - a cuddle during which she holds his erection.

A Devotional Cuddle may happen just before sexual activity, and, as he doesn't ejaculate at the end of most sessions, it often happens after sexual activity. Most Devotees also enjoy lots of Devotional Cuddles which go no further.

Erotic intimacy also includes a cuddles in bed when she isn't holding his erection as his energy is still felt in the cuddle.

Other common times of erotic intimacy are when he is erect during Affirmation and him being aroused while he gives her a massage.

Because sexual activity isn't happening his erotic energy is all channeled into intimacy and connection. So although the sexual activity which happens within Devotional Sex is great, it can be the times or erotic intimacy where Devotional Sex feels most special.

 
Almost all of the sex shown in porn is disconnected sex without any affection. So the biggest difference between porn and a loving couple having sex is that most couples include affection.

For most Devottees practicing Devotional Sex significantly increases the amount of affection felt during sexual activities.

Though each couple is different, for most intercourse last for longer and the sex is slower and more sensual. It's a step towards Tantric Sex.

As represented in the Devotional Sex logo, him giving her oral sex becomes a major activity for most. This usually isn't the few minutes of high activity seen in porn, but 15 to 30 minutes of much slower and more sensual activity.

For both the Knight and the Princesses these Pleasure Kisses become more about affection than sex. For him it is the most powerful and intimate way he can kiss her, and even though she enjoys an orgasm at the end she still feels that affection is key.

As well as him kissing her Pleasure more, Devotional Sex also has many couples spending more time with him kissing her mouth during sex and kissing the rest of her body.

As a Princess can play with her Knight's erection whenever she wishes without this being expected to lead to other activity or his ejaculations, this becomes an easy way to feel and show him affection as well as to give him sexual pleasure.

Finally, as a Knight doesn't ejaculate at the end of most sessions, unless a couple have to get up quickly most sexual activity is followed by some erotic intimacy. Especially for the Knight this erotic intimacy becomes an important part of his enjoyment of sexual activity.

 
When practicing Devotional Sex a Knight only ever ejaculates when with his Princess and when she decides. For most couples this becomes a very powerful bond between them that they both feel has become an important part of their relationship.

The two main ways of celebrating this bond are with Devotional Cuddles in bed and with Affirmation outside the bedroom. But the bond also enhances everything else they enjoy.
 
 
The name 'Devotional Sex' is accurate because this is a lifestyle built up from sex and his erotic energy, and within this lifestyle both are devoted to the other.

But the name can suggest that this lifestyle is just about sex. As this page has shown, this is not the case. Not only is intimacy and affection a key part of this lifestyle, for many it is so important that the technique could be renamed 'Devotional Affection'.

Perhaps some will prefer to think of it this way.